Friday, December 11, 2009

The Sunny has set...

Well, another season of "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" (the funniest show on tv in my opinion) has come and gone. I think this year, the show's fifth, might have been the most consistent so far. Season 5 introduced us to milksteak...

Kitten Mittons...

and the
Dick Towel(.com)
It also saw the main ensemble of Mac, Dennis, Charlie, Dee and Frank interacting more within themselves than with other outside characters, which gave them all more individual opportunities to shine. That's great, but I hope we still get to see some of the recurring characters again in the future. Especially these guys...

#8 Uncle Jack - Charlie's perverted uncle and obviously the inspiration for The Nightman. Uncle Jack being the way he is explains a lot about why Charlie is the way he is.
UNCLE JACK: It'll be fun, you know, you and me.....pallin' around...gettin nuts! Goin' crazy....
CHARLIE: I'm not doin' any kinda...crazy things you want me to do with you Uncle Jack...
UNCLE JACK: It's stuff that relatives do, we'll share the room Charlie...
CHARLIE: I don't wanna share the room with you dude, cause I will spend the whole night wide awake just like when I was a kid and you tried to share my room
UNCLE JACK: You ever seen wrestlin' on television?
CHARLIE: I am well aware of what wrestling is, it's just not what uncles do to their nephews! I'm outta here!
UNCLE JACK: Hey I'll call you later
CHARLIE: I know you will!

#7 Carmen (aka Carmen The Tranny or just The Tranny) - The closest that any character on this show has had to a healthy, loving relationship with another person was when Mac was dating Carmen, a pre-op male-to-female transsexual. It began when she complimented Mac's body and ended when he accidentally punched her in the face.
MAC: Is that a penis in your pants?
MAC: You lied to me!
CARMEN: No I didn't! You lied to me! You don't work out? Please! I've seen you at the gym - you're ripped!
MAC: No, don't turn this around - wait... really?

#6 THE LAWYER - Sometimes an opponent, sometimes an ally (well, in their minds) The Gang seems to think this man is the only practicing lawyer in Philadelphia. He expresses exasperation every time he encounters them, but also seems to take pleasure in battling (and defeating) them.
CHARLIE: Lemme handle this, Frank. It's not bullbird. He's making a few good points. Look buddy, I know a lot about the law and various other lawyerings, uh, I'm well educated, well versed. I know that situations like this, real-estate wise, are complex.
LAWYER: Actually, they're pretty simple. The forms are all standard boiler-plate.
CHARLIE: Okay. Well we're all hungry. We'll get to our hot-plates soon enough. Let's talk about the contract here.
LAWYER: I'm sorry, I forgot. Where did you go to law school again?
CHARLIE: Well I could ask you that very same question.
LAWYER: I went to Harvard.
CHARLIE: Ah, mhm.
LAWYER: How about you? Hm? Uh?
CHARLIE: I'm pleading the fifth, sir.
LAWYER: I'd advise that you do that.
CHARLIE: And I'll take that advice into cooperation, alright? Now what say you and I go toe-to-toe on bird-law and see how comes out the victor?
LAWYER: You know, I don't think I'm going to do anything close to that and I can see clearly you know nothing about the law. It seems like you have a tenuous grasp of the English language in general.
CHARLIE: I, uh, well, filibuster!
LAWYER: Do you.. Do you know what that word means?
CHARLIE: Ah-yup!

#5 Mac's Dad, Luther - A convicted meth dealer, possibly a murderer, maybe even a cannibal, Luther got out of prison, made amends with everyone he had wronged in the past and apparently has turned over a new leaf. He was last seen relaxing somewhere on a beach after pinning a note to the door of Paddy's Pub with a giant knife telling Mac that he loved him.
LUTHER: I never blink.

#4 Artemis - A former acting classmate of Dee's and most recently Frank's booty call, any time Artemis is around, things are going to get weird.
FRANK: Deandra, you got any bacon bits? We like to put them in Artemis's hair, and they rain down on me when we bang.
ARTEMIS: I feel like a Cobb Salad! It's...amazing!

#3 Rickety Cricket - Nobody has had their life ruined like Little Matty Mara who overcame a childhood of teasing, and teabagging, by Dennis, Mac and Charlie and an unrequited crush on Sweet Dee to become a priest, only to turn his back on the church and be turned into a homeless "street rat" strung out on various drugs and getting his legs broken by the mob, all thanks to Dennis, Mac, Charlie and Dee
CRICKET: You gotta make it sexy! Hips and nips... otherwise I'm not eatin'

#2 The Waitress - Just like the Joker couldn't exist with out the Batman (and vice-versa), The Gang couldn't exist with out the Waitress (and vice-versa). Her relationship with Charlie, consisting largely of rejecting every attempt he makes to win her heart could be described as sweet if somebody who works hard and spends time volunteering with community organizations being stalked by an illiterate manchild is your idea of sweet.
WAITRESS: (Drunkenly) I have a drinking problem.
DEE: Well, then, you should know how to hold your booze a little better.
WAITRESS: I'll hold your boobs a little better

#1 The McPoyles - Disgustingly disturbing on so many levels, the McPoyles used to be on so often that I was afraid they'd turn into this show's version of Lenny & Squiggy. But they haven't been seen in over two full seasons and I miss them terribly. This family is not what they had in mind when they nicknamed Philly "The City of Brotherly Love".
LIAM McPOYLE: We're gonna get this place hot and clammy...just like the McPoyles like it.

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