Friday, May 28, 2010


Somehow or another, I have reached adulthood in America without ever experiencing some of life's fundamental touchstones. I mention things I haven't done to people and they either think I'm lying or that I must have wandered out of some woods at the age of eighteen. Neither of those are the case. I just never got exposed to certain things for some reason. For example, I read "To Kill A Mockingbird" for the first time about three years ago. And that was because I wanted to. Everyone I mention this to says it was required reading for them in junior high school. But not me. It just...wasn't. I've never seen the original (or the remake, for that matter) Willy Wonka movie. Never saw "Jaws" or any of the "Friday The 13th" movies either. I also never had The Talk (you know what I mean) either. It was just something dad never got around to, I guess. As a result, while I think I have a pretty solid understanding of what parts perform which functions and how they're designed to work (or not) with each other, I don't think I'm legally certified in having been Talked To (consider that a warning, if you want).
The point of mentioning all this is that Tampa Theatre is presenting Sing-A-Long Mary Poppins in August and my friends want to organize an outing, and they want me to go with them. Well, guess what?

"You have got to be kidding me. This again? How is it possible you've never heard of Mary Poppins?!?"
I didn't say I'd never heard of it. She's an English nun who flies, right? Just like Sally Field.
"Not at all like Sally Field. She's a nanny, not a nun. She cares for a family's children."
Whatever. Dick Van Dyke is in it, right? He's not English.
"He plays an Englishman, a chimney sweep. You know the song 'Chim Chim Cher-ee'?"
Of course I do. A song about monkeys. I like that! And I also know the one about Super-californication-beep-beep-ribby-ribby.
"What about 'A Spoon Full Of Sugar'?"
What about it?
"It helps the (starts to sing) medicine go down, the medicine go down..."
This is an individual put in charge of caring for children, presumably a professional, who's tampering with medicine? That kind of thing might be okay in the UK but...
"Terrible. Maybe you should just not sing. What are you going to dress up as? I'm dressing as a penguin!"
I don't know. How about a robot?
"Why on earth would you dress like a robot?"
I like robots.
"What's that have to do with Mary Poppins."
Are you forgetting the famous fight scene with robots, battling in the streets of London?
"There are no robots in Mary Poppins."
You make the idea of robots in Mary Poppins sound completely ridiculous, yet there are penguins...
"The penguins are part of it!"
Part of the flying nun movie...
"She's a nanny, not a nun!"
Who flies. Right. I'm the one being ridiculous. You know what? Maybe she is a robot. Mary Robopoppins, who can transform from a nun into a helicopter and back again. Transporting kids around London, fighting crime in Detroit, specifically a band of terrorists who tamper with children's medicine. Serving up a spoon full of justice, and by spoon I mean shoulder mounted machine guns. Awesome! I could definitely see myself singing along to that!


Marissa said...

I've never been a fan of Mary Poppins. I find Dick's cockney to be aggravating, first of all. In CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG he didn't speak with an accent even though every one else in the movie does -- love Benny Hill as the toy maker. Anywho, that flick wasn't forced upon me and I always managed to excuse myself when others have watched it. No interest. It just swicks me out.

WednesdayAdams said...

He's right ya know. As his sister, I can verify that we were left out of the loop of many perceived "Normal" activities while growing up. Like church, Disney movies, regular supervision, etc... Neither of us got "the Talk", learned it on the streets like all Red Blooded American teenagers should. I did see Willy Wonka though. Oompa Loompas remind me of a friend of mine from high scholl. Still haven't read To Kill A Mocking Bird, & still don't want to.

Jessie said...

Pure awesome.

Although, as much as I loved Mary Poppins growing up...I don't remember anything about penguins?? Strange...