Interview: Alex On The Edge

I love weird people. I'm being completely sincere. In my humble opinion, no form of entertainment on earth even comes close to simply observing/listening to/interacting with people who are a bit...off-center. These days, those people are harder to find. Either they're wrapped up in the conformity-via-individuality myth ("I want to stand out from the crowd just like everybody else!") being perpetrated by various imagemakers and trendsetters or they're so friggin' off the wall that they're actually dangerous ("Guns! Bibles! Certain parts of the Constitution! Down with everything else!") that the good ol' fashioned All-American Weirdo has become an endangered species. But luckily, there are still a few out there. Recently, I found one and I'd like to share her with you.

Her name is Alex Edgerton. She has a blog and she posts on Twitter. Here are some highlights:

"The girl I'm stalking is awesome! She's so cute when she acts like she doesn't love me :) "

"My therapist says to stay away from negative people. So I've been trying to avoid myself as much as possible." 

"I'm gonna buy low & trade high. Or buy low & lose money. One of those 2."

"People make me so mad. Well not ALL people. Just my mother."

"Why is Bristol Palin on 'Dancing w/ The Stars'? What makes her a star? It's not 'Dancing w/ Teen Moms'"

She's also a poet:

If you don't water the tree,
it won't grow and give you fruit.
And one day you're gonna be hungry, bitch.

And a philosopher:

"The luckiest people in the world are the ones who are too stupid to care."

Isn't she great? I should ask her to marry me! Oh wait, I already did...  

HER: "Lets DO! Although we might fuckin kill each other cuz we're both moody people" 

ME: "Well, I don't think there's any way we could actually live with each other. But I think we'd have fun at social gatherings!"

HER: "LOL! Yeah social gatherings would be a blast. Specially since we're both such cheerful socialites!"

I think she's perfect! Sure, she's a lesbian with a completely dysfunctional family but every relationship takes some work I've dealt with tougher circumstances. Still, I thought it would be a good idea to get to know her better, so I asked her some interview questions, which I will share with you all now...

Sometimes people think that those who speak their mind are crazy. Do you think that's a sign of being crazy?

"I think it's a sign of being confident & not giving a damn what people think."

Do you think you're crazy?

"Yes. We all are. I'm crazy in a good way. My crazy is better than everyone else's crazy. I'm blessed."

Are you aware of how funny you are?

"Absolutely. I am god damn hilarious. I make MYSELF laugh sometimes."

Is everything you say straight up, raw truth or do you sometimes say things for effect?

"I sometimes exaggerate for the entertainment value. But for the most part, it's right on the money."

Even the stuff about your mom and dad, aunts and uncles, etc.?

"You can't make this shit up. Swear to god the family stuff is for real."

What's something that has always annoyed you?

"My mother".

What's something new that's annoying you?

"The wasp nest outside my house."

When I suggested we get married, you said it was a good idea except we might kill each other. If you were going to kill me, as your husband, how would you do it?

"I'd have to make it look like an accident because when I kill, I do it well. I'd probably go with the idea from Eminem's latest song; tie you to the bed post & set the house on fire. Mind you, this would appear to be an accidental fire. Oh I'd also have a big fuckin' life insurance policy on you. How would you kill ME? We need to sort this out before we get married."

I'd do something classy. Shakespeare used poison to kill a lot of his characters. And daggers. But daggers seem like a lot of work and kind of messy. I think a nice poison would work best for me.

What are your plans for the upcoming holidays? 

"Are holidays upcoming? Ok um... Halloween is the soonest so I plan to rob a few kids for their candy. I really like candy." 

For even more awesomeness, visit Alex On The Edge.