Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Guest Blogger: Ruprecht

For all I know, this is an actual photo
I was first introduced to the mysterious Ruprecht (he only has one name like Prince and Madonna!) through association with mutual friends, fellow writer-y types. He has two blogs, both very funny "Rupe's Value Added Services" and "F (STOP)". We've never met in person (I know he operates out of California and is a Dodgers fan), which is probably good, because I can totally see us getting involved in wacky misadventures that would end with us in a convertible hurtling over the edge of a cliff, a la Thelma and Louise (he would be the one wearing the scarf). Here is his guest contribution, an election day adventure you're sure to enjoy...

Voter #000023

It can be a wonderful thing.
Especially if you’re in control of it … if you have the upper hand on how it’s distributed when you didn't start it.

When I went in to vote early yesterday morning, I recognized an acquaintance among the handful of volunteers at the polling place. An acquaintance who, in the distant past, has gotten under my skin more times than I can count.
You know the sort: Snide remarks. It's a major undertaking for them to say anything civil, let alone nice. The kind who not only enjoys sticking the knife in, but twists it as well.

Well, the modus operandi of this particular acquaintance was such that it’s in her nature to do just that. It so happened she was working the polling place as a volunteer.

“Hello, Sally!” I said as I approached her. I stuck out my hand to shake hers in a show of good will salutation. Surrounded by others who were watching, she had no choice other than to reciprocate. She offered her hand gingerly, as if my touch would somehow taint her.
Her comment back to me was “Why, hello! Wow! You look nice! I’m not used to seeing you so dressed up!”
The way she said it was as if she’d only ever seen me in torn jeans and a raggedy T-shirt. I swear there was a drop or two of acidic vitriol dripping from her words.
My reply? “Well … that’s because you’re used to only seeing me naked.”
Yes. There were wide eyes and muffled laughter all around the room. Sally turned several shades of red and didn't know exactly what to say.

Drama. It can be a wonderful thing.


Marissa said...

Yep, sounds exactly like something you'd say

Anonymous said...

You are a very funny man Rupe! Love it!

bronsont said...

She should have learned long ago you don't poke Ruprecht if you want to go home with all your fingers still attached to your hand!

Way to go @Rupe!

Jeff Hickmott said...


Kwizgiver said...

Funny, funny, funny!!