Wednesday, October 23, 2013

I've been shirking my Unbelieva-duties

There are lots of pictures we're tagged in out there
now, yet I keep returning to this one. Hey, if it
ain't broke, don't fix it.
With my personal living situation turmoil behind me, things have settled down and I've been taking stock of stuff that may have suffered when I was unable to devote adequate attention to it.

Let's see: Still got my job(s). Okay, good. My cats are alive. Nice. My vehicle hasn't been repo'ed or stolen. Whew. Personal relationship(s)? Nobody's perfect.

Anyway, one thing that I'm not sure I've ever adequately plugged promoted is The Unbelievables.
The Unbelievables is a writing project helmed by myself and my partners Jeff Hickmott and Michael Noble.

THE MYTHOS: "These dudes are bad. Bad clothes, bad hair, bad attitudes. From the secret files of The Kitsch Bitsch come ... The Unbelievables! One day, three altruistic rogues (Jeff Hickmott, Michael Noble and Clark Brooks) were lounging around the raquetball club when they decided to use their unique skills and senses of style to form a non-government affiliated, multi-jurisdictional, not-for-profit crime & injustice fighting organization and The Unbelievables were born. Originally, their adventures were chronicled in the top-secret files of The Kitsch Bitsch but now, they're exploding in your face with a web site all their own: If the sexy, action-packed adventures of men in double-knit, polyester fashions with un-ironic mustaches and macrame underwear turn you on, you're really going to dig ... The Unbelievables!"

THE TRUE STORY: Jeff, Michael and I are all writers who have mutual on-line connections (specifically. one Marissa Rapier) and had known of each other primarily through our creative output. We had discussed working together on something, some day, but none of us were ever motivated enough to sit down and put a plan together so we didn't. One day, Jeff's sweetie pie Laura, for reasons known only to her, was visiting The Kitsch Bitsch's page on Facebook and thought it would be funny to tag Jeff and I in a photo of two hirsute and bronzed gentlemen in terribly small, tight and shiny bathing suits. This put us in a position of having to justify the tags, which we did by inventing some fercockt tale about being studly private eyes. Laura thought this was great fun and tagged more photos. Somebody thought it would be a good idea to drag Michael into the madness so that happened. This went on for months and somebody (I honestly don't recall who) said "You know, this could be the thing we do together!" and the other two (I honestly don't recall who) said, "Yeah, great idea! Let's get going on that right away!" so of course we didn't. Then one day, several weeks later, out of the blue Jeff said (I recall this quite clearly), "I've set us up with a blog on line. It's live already so we need to start filling it up with content" and with an official endorsement from The Kitsch Bitsch herself, we've been at it (more or less) ever since.

WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT: Crime-fighting adventures. Sex. Music. Style tips. Life lessons. Grown-up villains who look like children. Senseless violence. Advice. Twins. Snacks. Sex. It's like an issue of Penthouse come to life. Or maybe, an issue of Highlights. Somewhere in the middle, probably. Actually, a female acquaintance once described it as "Spinal Tap as crimefighters". However, my relationship with her ended, um, abruptly, so aside from this, I'd ask that you not put a lot of weight behind her opinions on matters involving my participation.


  • More often than not, it's pretty funny. I'd say roughly 67 times out of 71. 
  • And the four "eh"s are usually at least weird. 
  • We publish three times a week (Monday, Wednesday and Friday). 
  • If you like wacky, kitschy retro stuff, you'll probably be entertained most of the time. 
  • It's free.
  • We have a Twitter* and a Facebook page and we like interacting with people*.
  • You are out in the real world helping people, making a positive difference in the lives of others, dedicated to improving the quality of life on this planet for all and probably not even reading this.
  • You don't like things.
A FUN FACT (TRUE!): Jeff, Michael and I are scattered around the globe (I'm in Florida, Jeff is in England and I've learned it's easiest to just say that Michael is "out west") so we've never met in person. We did talk on the phone once, though.

SOMETHING COOL: The Flaming Schwartzkopf Experience wrote and produced a theme song for us. There's even a video (see below...nearly 300 hits)!

* I'm not sure any of us remember the password for the Twitter account so we don't really interact much through that. But we get some good back-and-forth on Facebook. It's fun, check it out. Don't cost nothin'.

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