Friday, June 27, 2014

Just another day down at the ol' plant

"All right, boneless pork rectum inverters. Coffee break is over, let's get back to... hey, what the hell is going on here? You've stacked this entire batch of boneless pork rectums upside down! How many times do I have to tell you guys that in this case, 'inverted' means inside out, not upside down. You can't just stack a bunch of boneless pork rectums upside down and call them inverted. No, you gotta get in there, with both hands if necessary and turn those boneless pork rectums inside out, one at a time. Now, I don't know how they do things at the bone-in pork rectum division or at any of the cow rectum or seheep rectum or goat rectum divisions, but goddamnn it, here at the boneless pork rectum division, we do things the right way. That means inverting a rectum the way a rectum should be inverted. Now, start over from scratch... yes, go ahead and scratch these rectums. Each and every one of them. We'll just have to write this batch off because you guys have totally ruined these rectums. You should know that a rectum isn't something that a whole bunch of guys should be handling. We'll start over with a fresh batch of rectums and from here on in, the sloppy handling of rectums will simply not be tolerated. Do you understand me? When it comes to rectums, you guys are supposed to be professionals! Respect your craft!"

3 comments:

Michael Noble said...

See, now ... I was under the impression (and I could be wrong) that "inverted rectum" was the term for a rectum to be literally turned inside out. If that doesn't happen, you don't have "inverted" rectum. Makes sense.

I think you have it wrong, Mr. Brooks ...

Michael Noble said...

P.S. I don't think I would be pleased day in and day out with the job of inverting rectums.

Clark Brooks said...

Um, isn't that what I said?