Wednesday, July 29, 2015

The Continuing Story Of The Real Bungalow Bill

"He's the all American bullet-headed Saxon mother's son"

As my friend J.B. Ball says about the 'sport' of hunting, "It's not a sport if one side doesn't know it's playing". That pretty much sums up how I feel about it. At least in the case of most hunters and fishermen who actually eat what they kill, there's a sense of purpose to it. I don't necessarily support that (there are lots of places to get something to eat without killing anything) but I can appreciate that it's not just a total waste. Not so in the case of big game, professional piece-of-cowardly-shit, trophy hunters like Walter Palmer. There's just no way for me to understand the mindset...
"Wow, I'm on safari in Africa! And there's a lion! This is incredible! I have been fortunate enough to find myself with the fairly unique opportunity to be in the presence of one of nature's most magnificent creatures, in its natural habitat. This is something most human beings will never experience in their lives. I guess there's nothing else I can do but to kill it. Of course! I need to end that creature's life for the sole purpose of being able to say I did. Look at it! Just walking around, going about the business of being a lion, all unarmed and stuff, with no idea whatsoever that I can end its existence from a distance, with every conceivable man-made advantage at my disposal and giving it exactly zero chance of defending itself. That's nature! That's sport! Yes, I need to kill it, hopefully giving it a slow and agonizing death, and then have my picture taken with its dead body. That way I'll have proof that I killed it. I should also chop its head off and mount it on a plaque for wall hanging. That's a good souvenir. I'm just a douchebag, low-life, bulb-headed dentist from Minnesota and there's no way I'll be able to prove I killed a lion if I can't show people pictures along with its actual chopped-off head. Goddamn, I'm awesome!" 
Hope it was worth the $50,000 out-of-pocket and being hated by everybody in the world, you massive tool.

Now, as much fun as it might be to find Walter Palmer, strip him naked and then chase him through an urban environment with rusty steak knives, letting him know nothing but fear and pain for what little time he would have remaining here on Earth, it's probably not a good idea. besides, come on, you know that isn't something that's going to happen. Enough with the rhetoric for once. Instead, it would be a more poetic gesture for lots of people to do something positive in response to one asshole doing something shitty.
To that end, here's a link where you can make a donation to the Univerity of Oxford's Wildlife Conservation Research Unit, the organization that was tracking Cecil and is "now recognised as the leading university-based institute for wildlife conservation research".

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