Wednesday, December 02, 2015

Somebody in Georgia needs a hug. Or a hobby.

A new sign posted by a Georgia sheriff declares the county he works for “politically incorrect” and asks any people offended by it to leave.
Underneath the 'Welcome to Harris County Georgia' sign, Sheriff Mike Jolley added another sign that reads: 'WARNING: Harris County is politically incorrect. We say: Merry Christmas, God Bless America, and in God We Trust. We salute our troops and our flag. If this offends you… LEAVE!'
Jolley told local station WRBL that he paid for the sign on his own because he feels like not enough people are speaking out.
"I spent 20 years in the army to give everyone the right not to agree with it, and voice their opinion if they’re not and that’s fine. But after being the sheriff of Harris County for 23 years, I believe that the vast majority of my citizens here in Harris County agree with what’s on that sign," Jolley told WRBL. -

I'll go ahead and guarantee that the ratio of people who pass through Harris County, Georgia, that might be offended by any of those things to people who pass through Harris County, Georgia, trying to find the bridge where Merle and Daryl saved that family in season 3 of "The Walking Dead" is about 1:300. But still, here are more signs that the apparently attention-starved Sheriff Jolley can buy with his own money because not enough people are talking about the things that virtually no one is offended by...

"Not only do we say Merry Christmas, God Bless America, and in God We Trust while we salute our troops and our flag, we also like chocolate chip cookies, golden retriever puppies and the NFL. You got a problem with any of those things? And also blowjobs. If you don't like that stuff THEN GET OUT!" 
 "You know what else we like? Music. That's right, if you don't like music for singing or dancing or just listening to, you'd best keep on moving!"
"Also, movies with compelling plots and likable characters! If that offends you, then we don't want your kind here!"
"Okay, they don't have to be likable but you should at least be able to identify with them on some level as they try to resolve whatever conflict is at the center of the story. That's the kind of place Harris County is, mister! And we don't apologize for it!"
"You know how when you take the foil off a container of pudding (or yogurt, if you're so inclined) and you lick that before you start eating what's in the actual container? I, Sheriff Mike Jolley, will fight TO THE DEATH anyone who tries to keep us from doing that in Harris County!"
"Proud of my record of not a single citizen of Harris County having been killed by dragons since I was elected! Dragons...and vampires...LEAVE!"

No comments: