Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Modern Problems

I recently got my eyes checked and 'treated' myself to a pair of new glasses, black frames, fairly stylish, which is a little unusual for me. One of my friends whose opinion I value said I looked "artsy and intelligent", which is even more unusual for me, so I was very happy with them.
Now, I'm not sure how this works, whether or not I can be sued for libel for what I say in a blog so I'm going to craftily disguise the company's identity and tell you their name rhymes with SchmensCrafters. My other friend told me the other day that she could see one of the screws in the frames looked exceptionally long, plus it looked like it was in upside down. So I stopped in the store at Westshore Plaza tonight to have it adjusted, thinking I'd be in and out in 5 minutes. If they can make a whole set of glasses in an hour, how long can it take to put the correct size screw in right side up? Well, as the manager was examining the screw situation, she mentioned that the frames themselves seemed "loose". So she took them to the service department in the back and asked me to come back in an hour, because apparently everything takes an hour there. I come back and am informed that it's been determined that the frames themselves can't be salvaged and I need new ones (I can't help but wonder whether it took the whole 60 minutes to reach this conclusion). The problem is, they don't have that color of frame in the store and didn't know if they would be able to get a pair from another location because apparently they've been discontinued. So she put my lenses in another set of frames (same style, silver not black) and said I could use them for a few days while she tried to find the right replacement at another store, or just keep them if she couldn't do so. "After all", she said, "these are the same frames, just silver instead of black". To which I heard myself whine, "But I don't like the silver ones. I want the black ones that it took me an hour to figure out I wanted the last time I was here". She didn't seem to see it as a big deal and I know in the grand scheme of things that it isn't either. But I was still tempted to throw a tantrum worthy of a 3rd grader: "I hate these glasses because they suck and they're stupid and they're gay and they're ugly. I hate them I hate them I hate them. I'd rather not have eyes than wear these. I want my glasses, Nurse Ratched", which in retrospect, I probably should have. Because in the end I left the store wearing glasses that I don't like and could very well be stuck with, not to mention the hour and a half this whole ordeal took that I can't get back, a total slice of heaven I paid for two weeks ago. I know, it's certainly not the end of the world and I'm a spoiled American who should be thankful that he has nothing bigger to bitch about other than the color of his glasses because there are poor people in Whogivesaratsassistan who can't afford to be nearsighted with a slight astigmatism. Well, fine. Let them wear these stupid, ugly ass, gay, suck glasses.
This, coupled with my car needing two major repairs exactly one week apart forces me to ask: Is it really too much for things to just work the way they're supposed to once in a while? Apparently, yes.


Anonymous said...
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Mr. Bigglesworth said...

Did you rip off Whogivesaratsassistan from the Olympics?

Clark said...

Less 'ripped off' from, more 'inspired by' a certain Olympian effort : )