Profiles In Greatness: The Stoney Jackson Interview

You may know him better as "that guy from the 80's, with the hair, from that movie" but his real name is Stoney Jackson. I recently had the opportunity to pretend to sit down and interview him (NOTE: Only the interview was pretend. I actually did sit down).

CLARK: Hi Stoney. Welcome to my fabulous estate overlooking both the Atlantic Ocean and the Gulf Of Mexico.

STONEY JACKSON: Thanks. It's great to be here. This is really nice.

C: Thank you. First off, let me say how sorry I am that 'Snakes On A Plane' wasn't a bigger success. What do you suppose happened there?

SJ: Ummm, I'm not sure why you're asking me. I wasn't in that.

C: Ha ha! Good one. I don't like to tell people I even saw it! (NOTE: I didn't see it). Let's talk about 'Pulp Fiction'. Big hit. What's Tarantino like? Kinda crazy I'll bet.

SJ: I wasn't in Pulp...Oh wait. I think you're confusing me with Samuel L. Jackson.

C: That's not you?

SJ: Nope, that isn't me.

C: Well, great. I have a whole bunch of questions here I can't even ask then.

SJ: Well, I have appeared in over 40 films and several TV shows. Are you familiar with the movie 'Black Scorpion'?

C: Yeah, I think I did see that...

SJ: Well, I was in Black Scorpion 2.

C: Were you the guy who said "I have had it with these muthafucking scorpions on this muthafucking plane'?

SJ: Wrong movie. Again, that's not me.

C: You should start saying that. That's the kind of thing people remember for a long time.

SJ: Thanks. Good advice. Can I go now?

C: We've established you are not Samuel L. Jackson, star of Pulp Fiction and Snakes On A Plane.

SJ: That is correct.

C: So how long have you been brewing beer? Was it something you turned to when you weren't invited to appear in 'Black Scorpion 3'?

SJ: Actually, 'Black Scorpion' was turned into a series and I was on it but once again, you're thinking of Samuel Jackson, only a different one this time.

C: Well, this has been great. It was nice meeting you and good luck with 'Black Scorpions Brewing Beer On A Plane 3'.

SJ: Thanks! I appreciate it!