Thursday, January 04, 2007

Profiles In Greatness: The Stoney Jackson Interview

You may know him better as "that guy from the 80's, with the hair, from that movie" but his real name is Stoney Jackson. I recently had the opportunity to pretend to sit down and interview him (NOTE: Only the interview was pretend. I actually did sit down).
CLARK: Hi Stoney. Welcome to my fabulous estate overlooking both the Atlantic Ocean and the Gulf Of Mexico.
STONEY JACKSON: Thanks. It's great to be here. This is really nice.
C: Thank you. First off, let me say how sorry I am that 'Snakes On A Plane' wasn't a bigger success. What do you suppose happened there?
SJ: Ummm, I'm not sure why you're asking me. I wasn't in that.
C: Ha ha! Good one. I don't like to tell people I even saw it! (NOTE: I didn't see it). Let's talk about 'Pulp Fiction'. Big hit. What's Tarantino like? Kinda crazy I'll bet.
SJ: I wasn't in Pulp...Oh wait. I think you're confusing me with Samuel L. Jackson.
C: That's not you?
SJ: Nope, that isn't me.
C: Well, great. I have a whole bunch of questions here I can't even ask then.
SJ: Well, I have appeared in over 40 films and several TV shows. Are you familiar with the movie 'Black Scorpion'?
C: Yeah, I think I did see that...
SJ: Well, I was in Black Scorpion 2.
C: Were you the guy who said "I have had it with these muthafucking scorpions on this muthafucking plane'?
SJ: Wrong movie. Again, that's not me.
C: You should start saying that. That's the kind of thing people remember for a long time.
SJ: Thanks. Good advice. Can I go now?
C: We've established you are not Samuel L. Jackson, star of Pulp Fiction and Snakes On A Plane.
SJ: That is correct.
C: So how long have you been brewing beer? Was it something you turned to when you weren't invited to appear in 'Black Scorpion 3'?
SJ: Actually, 'Black Scorpion' was turned into a series and I was on it but once again, you're thinking of Samuel Jackson, only a different one this time.
C: Well, this has been great. It was nice meeting you and good luck with 'Black Scorpions Brewing Beer On A Plane 3'.
SJ: Thanks! I appreciate it!

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