I'm goin' to Brandon

Tonight after work, I was going over to a place in Ybor City to check out the place where we're having the premiere party for "Ten at the Top in Tampa Bay". There's been some recent construction in downtown, with buildings being torn down, new roads added and old roads re-routed. I thought I was heading towards Ybor when I found myself on what looked like an expressway. I realized that it was an expressway, and figured that I had somehow wound up on the new and improved Selmon Crosstown by mistake. "Looks like I'm goin' to Brandon", I chuckled to myself. As I traveled a little further without seeing any exits, I thought "Shit, I am going to Brandon". The longer this went on, the more I repeated this to myself, each time emphasizing a different word as I grew more and more incredulous; "I'm going to Brandon", "I'm going to Brandon". I may have also added an adjective that started with F and ended with ING between "to" and "Brandon". Don't get me wrong, I have no ill will towards Brandon. There's a huge mall there, which is kind of nice. Actually, the whole place looks like it's one huge mall. But I couldn't help wondering who decided that with all the traffic problems we have in this town that a four lane, non-stop, no-exit express route from downtown Tampa to F-ing Brandon is what we need. It's kind of like installing a Weber 6750001 Genesis Gold C Propane Grill at a mosque; it's nice and it may even come in handy sometimes but it's certainly not what anyone would describe as an essential.