Sunday, July 27, 2008

A short conversation about memory

"Hey, I almost forgot to give this back to you. Here you go."

"You can't do that."

"Do what? Give this back to you? Why not? It's yours, I borrowed it a long time ago. Look, I'm sorry it took so long..."

"No, you can't 'almost' forget something."

"Oh, I got it. This is you teaching me a life lesson again, like you're my own personal Yoda or somebody. Do or do not, there is no try. Is that the line?"

"Well, sort of. In this case, you could either remember or you could forget. And if you didn't forget, then you must have remembered. If you had forgotten, would you say that you 'almost remembered'? Of course not. That would be a stupid thing to say. And who says stupid things? That's right, stupid people. I'm just trying to save you from being one of the stupid people. You're welcome, by the way."

"Yeah, see, this is where you want to show me how smart you are and you try to get me to think about the things I do and say but I just get irritated and angry instead. So I want to hit you, but I hesitate for just a second and I do think about the consequences of my impending actions, but only because I think, well, what if you really are like Yoda and can do all kinds of Jedi self defense tricks, because I don't want to get my ass whipped. Then I remember it's just you and I'm pretty sure I can clobber you pretty easily. Somehow though, luckily for you, you always stop a little bit short of making me just that angry, which spares you the beating you so royally deserve and makes future exchanges like this inevitable. So thanks. Good job there, Professor Pain in the ass."

"You know, you're a very angry, hostile person who's incapable of taking constructive criticism. That's why I almost didn't say anything."

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