Wednesday, April 28, 2010

A short conversation about coleslaw

"Ugh!"

"What's wrong?"


"There's a...a bone in my coleslaw."


"Gross."


"No kidding. And and weird."


"Not that weird at all. Have you ever seen how they make that stuff?"


"Sure I have. It's cabbage and carrots and mayo and vinegar. Why in the world would there be a bone in coleslaw?"


"You got your big food manufacturers, operating around the clock, trying to meet the nation's insatiable demand for coleslaw. The slicers are probably enormous, operating at extremely high speed, like jet turbines in facilities the size of the Astrodome. Then you get some overworked, undereducated operator, he's worried about making his mortgage payment and then he gets yelled at by the plant supervisor because they're behind schedule. He gets careless and the next thing you know, he loses a finger. Even if he tells somebody about it, which he might not, depending on the finger and how badly he needs his job, they're not going to shut down and dump out a whole enormous vat of coleslaw just because some jamoke screwed up and lost a pinky finger in it. And next thing you know, you find a bone in yours."


"Very, very, very little of what you just said sounds reasonable. And yet, I don't think I want to eat any more."


"Relax, man. It's just a chicken bone. I put it there when you got up to get me a napkin."

"Well, now I really don't want to eat it."

3 comments:

John Myste said...

Are these conversations based purely on imagination or is there a real starting point for them?

Why, it's Clark! said...

Hi John,
It's a mix of completely fake and (somewhat) totally real.

John Myste said...

Funny, Clark. I write creative non-fiction with a philosophical point. The point is always real, but the story is usually embellished, a fact I find irrelevant.