Monday, August 09, 2010

BING! I know whose vote I WON'T be getting

Having the backing of celebrities is a crucial part of winning any meaningless popularity contest political campaign. Barack Obama had Oprah and Sarah Palin had Tina Fey and they were both huge winners. Well, I fear I have had something of a misstep here in the early going in my campaign to win at least one (but hopefully two) of Creative Loafing's Best of the Bay 2010 Readers Poll: I've lost the Tobolowsky vote.
Stephen Tobolowsky (pictured here) is a talented actor who has appeared in over 200 movies and probably at least that many tv shows. He played Ned Ryerson in "Groundhog Day" and can currently be seen on Fox's wildly popular show, "Glee". He's also someone I follow on Twitter.
In case you don't know, trying to follow conversations on Twitter is kind of like picking up the phone at any given time and hearing a couple of million people talking at the same time. Such was the case the other night when I saw him post this:
"I ate a hamburger at the Brooklyn Grill and met Melissa Center who is a podcast fan and is making her own shorts which is a great idea."
Nothing there pertains or even means anything to me. At all. That didn't stop me from sidling up, much the way a smooth dude would at a cocktail party and interjecting some witty banter:
"It's always a good idea to keep your hands off of other people's shorts, at least until you get to know them."
Granted, most smooth dudes wouldn't look at the innocuous mention of the word "shorts" as an entry point to interject witty banter, but I'm intrepid like that.
A few seconds later, he replied:
"Did I inadvertently say I grabbed shorts?"
Uh oh.
"Nope, just that your friend Melissa was working on her own."
Crickets turned away, embarrassed. A lone tumbleweed blew through.
"Sorry. I am frequently 12-years-old."
The cracking of icicles being formed was the only noise as the tumbleweed shook it's head sadly, changed it's mind and blew back to whence it came and the closest equivalent to an awkward silence in a platform consisting of a couple million people talking at the same time pervaded.

So now, I guess that ship has sailed. He'll never endorse me after that exchange. Oh well, nothing to do but re-group and find myself another celebrity to charm.


LoveBees said...

Well, I'm not a celebrity and would never wear shorts but you've charmed me to the greatest of sorts. You're sweet and you're kind almost to a fault. So take this comment and place it in your vault.

*cue crickets*

Why, it's Clark! said...

That is easily the best poetry to be found anywhere on this site!