The blog is officially five years old and I am drunk! Hapavah Anniflavavah!

On June 18th, 2006, I sat down and typed this sentence:

"Hi there."

"Holy shit, this guy is the next David Sedaris!"

What followed were statements even less profound and prolific than that one. And now here we are, five years later.

Wow.

What a collossal waste of time, huh?

It's been one heck of a wacky run though. I'd like to think that I learned some special lessons along the way and that you did too and that together we've grown. But we all know that isn't true.

So what does the future hold? Nobody can say for sure. Nobody except me, that is. And that's why I'm taking this opportunity to announce my retirement. No more Ridiculously inconsistent trickle. This is it. The last one. Time to grow up and move on to other pursuits. I appreciate all the support you've shown me over the years and I will miss you, but it's done. Good luck and godspeed (whatever that means).

Just kidding.
I'm not quitting, duh*. I don't know what I'm doing next though. No earthly clue. Offhand, I'd say that the next five years will be just like the last five in that it will be spontaneous and arbitrary. I'd also say that I'm just flying by the seat of my pants but I'm not (flying, nor wearing pants).
Perhaps it's all summed up best in the words of a recent commentor:

"Clark, you have just enough of a brain to be dangerous!!"

See ya in 2015. And also on Monday.
The Reverend Clark Brooks

* Did you cry? I bet you did. You totally cried, didn't you? HA HA HA! Yes you did, YES YOU DID! You didn't? Are you sure? You gasped though, didn't you? Oh, you gasped! Because you love me. SAY IT! And you also pee'd, didn't you. I know you did. You pee'd a little bit. Because that's just how much you love me. Go on and say it. Oh my god, you're peeing right now, aren't you! You're a gasping crybaby pee-pants! HA HA HA HA HA HA! Made you look!


I'm going to be very glad to find those crackers there tomorrow.



That sounds about right. So until somebody comes up with a better definition of what I'm supposed to be doing on this planet, I shall continue to go forth and chronicle what my tiny, dangerous brain deems chronicle-worthy.