Monday, June 13, 2011

More anniversary week celebration fun!

I love doing interviews and hope to do more in the future. The ones with Maria Bamford and Steve Jerve stand out as a lot of fun for me, but this one with my buddy Lynne Austin as she prepared for Tampa Bay's version of Dancing With The Stars, is BY FAR the most popular one I've done so far...

 She didn't cook the food, but Lynne Austin is The Original Hooters Girl. Since the day she forever made it impossible for me to wear orange satin shorts and a tank top in public, the bay area native and avid sports fan has created a career out of being herself. She's appeared on "Married With Children", and hosted television and radio shows. And you may have seen her in a little magazine called Playboy (perhaps you've heard of it? Great articles. I recommend you check it out.) And now the crowning achievement of her career, THIS BLOG! She's currently working very hard, preparing to compete in "Dancing With the Stars Tampa Bay 2009", which benefits Heartbeat International and takes place Saturday, September 26th at 6:00PM at the Marriott Waterside in downtown Tampa. My fellow Rays die-hard fanatic took time out from a grueling rehearsal schedule to chitty chat...

ME (my blog, I get to be in bold and italics): How did you first get involved with Heartbeat International?
HER: I got involved with Heartbeat International through Julie Weintraub of Gold and Diamond Source. I've known her husband Steve for 20 years. I've been lucky enough to receive some beautiful things from Gold and Diamond Source over the years! Anywhoo, Julie asked me to dance. The charity is in affiliation with St Jude's and they provide pacemakers to children around the world that would otherwise die.

ME: Were you much of a dancer before getting involved with this?
HER: Could I dance before I set foot in Fred Astaire? dance...sure...I could get my groove on. Ballroom dance? Ha! I had maybe seen one episode of the real "Dancing With The Stars"! I had no idea how to tell a swing from a samba. During my first meeting with the director of Fred Astaire, a sweet dude named Fletcher, I tried to back out. I realized I was out over my skiis. He was very positive that I could do it, so I tried. And tried. And tried. My first lesson was August 10th, for an hour. It was like this: "Lynne, swing works on a triple step count", and away we went. Brighthouse Cable taped a few lessons and mine was a bleeped filled hour of frustration as my left foot and my other left foot decided to not play in the sandbox together. After four lessons, my partner Joe, quit. They swear it wasn't my fault. Next saint up was Orlando Pagan, a professional in the true sense. Thursday was my 12th lesson with Orlando. We dance two to three hours per lesson. For the past three weeks, it has been almost daily. My last lesson is today (Friday) and the event is tomorrow (Saturday). You can vote for us online at Please!

ME: What happens when you walk into a Hooters? Does special Lynne Austin theme music play? Do people bow? HER: Well darlin', I was the very first Hooters girl ever hired. Thus "The Original" tag that follows me. That was 26 years ago this October 4th. If we do that math (easy big fella) that would mean some of these women were not even a zygote when I opened the stores. Sooooo, nah, no theme music. Some waitress have no clue I am their personal goddess. Which just pisses me off. I mean jeez, you'd think I could milk this whole boob thing (no pun :) for at least 30 years, yes?

ME: Why have you stayed in Clearwater?
HER: I've done so much in the past 26 years as Hooters billboard girl/waitress/marketing/radio talk hostess. Playboy kept me busy for about five years. The rest of it has been a mosaic of some of the most interesting, amazing, weird-ass things ever. And I wouldn't trade one second of it. I tried my hand at Hollywood, did a few episodes of "Married With Children", two times on "Star Search" and countless modeling jobs. But, the hometown just couldn't be removed from the girl. I came back after a month, happy to be a small fish in a small pond.

ME: My understanding is once you've been a Playboy centerfold, you have Hef on speed dial and can show up at the Playboy Mansion whenever you want. True?
HER: Contrary to popular belief, no, Hef isn't on my speed dial. But, "once a Playmate, always a Playmate" so I am still welcome, with a submitted request and a valid reason, to the Mansion in Holmby Hills California. It really is an awesome place. Kind of like a nakey museum.

ME: Any new projects coming up?
HER: My current passion along with raising four kidlets, is my Rays. Followed chronically for about the last four years. '08 was magical for us homers, '09 was frustrating and heartbreaking as the spell was broken with injuries and 'pen problems. I have no doubt '10 will be fun to watch as we see our farm system prove its one of the best in MLB.

ME: Anything else?
HER: As I get nearer to having yet another great experience tattoo-ed on my soul, Dancing with the Stars Tampa Bay, has been a mixed bag of awesome. Thank you to all my friends on Twitter that have cheered me on and listened to me bitch and whine. I will miss having something to learn everyday. I don't expect to win...unless...we can somehow pull off a Tanya Harding part deux. ;)
ME: I am totally available to serve as a Jeff Gilooly in waiting.

Attention everyone I went to high school with: I won't be attending any reunions but if I did, I'd walk in, announce that I have this woman's phone number, and leave.


RottenMom said...

She has 4 kids and her boobs are still that amazing?

Why, it's Clark! said...

What can I say? She's incredible.

Anonymous said...

Of course her boobs are incredible..they are the best money can buy. Her plastic surgeries = good, His plastic surgeries = bad. Beauty and the

Clark Brooks said...

Hmm, I'm not sure where you get your info but it's not accurate, Anon.