As might be seen on TV

The other day, I heard through an indirect source that a friend of mine had appeared in a local television commercial. Of course, I got very excited and contacted my friend right away. This is what happened next:

"You're in a commercial?"
"Yes! Wow, did you see it?"
"No. I read about it on Facebook."
"That figures."
"Is it a lawyer commercial? Do you have lines in it? Should I be in the next one?"
"No, it has nothing to do with lawyers. No, I don't have any lines in it. No, there isn't going to be a next one. I did it for a client of mine who..."
"Mmm-hmm, mm-hmm. So what you're saying is yes, I should have a speaking part in the next lawyer commercial. Let me think about it; okay, sure, I'll do it."
"..."
"Hi! Clark Brooks here for the law company!"
"Why...do you think it has anything whatsoever to do with lawyers? Because it doesn't. At all."
"Do you need some laws to sue somebody? Do you want some so you don't get sued? Do you like pizza? Of course you do! Everybody likes pizza and is suing somebody!"
"I kind of wish you had seen the commercial because it doesn't have anything to do with pizza either..."
"I will, of course, be dressed as a pizza chef, twirling some pizza dough in front of a brick oven. I feel like that's a really strong visual that will resonate with the criminals and low-lifes you're trying to reach."
"Low-lifes??"
"Hi! Clark Brooks here. Do you make bad decisions that hurt innocent people? Would you rather hire a lawyer than stop doing that? Come on down to the law company or whatever and we'll talk about it over a slice of pizza!"
"That's...really something."
"Then I'll mumble something really fast about how the spokesman is not an actual lawyer nor a pizza chef and certainly has no intention of sitting down to talk with low-lifes about their criminal activities. Like a disclaimer."
"Of course. I can't wait to propose it to my client who isn't a lawyer and is not making another commercial. I'm sure it will be a hit."

So we all have that to look forward to.