A Budget-Conscious Tourist's Tale

The movie "A Dolphin's Tale" has been in theatres now for three weeks, last week grossing over $9 million in ticket sales, proving once again that people love dolphins! Whether they're the subject of a family film or playing the game of football really badly, folks just can't get enough of the shiny, bottle-nosed fish-mammals. It's no surprise that one of the most popular tourist attractions popping up at vacation spots are dolphin encounters, your chance to actually swim with the lovable scamps of the sea. These places use this kind of verbiage in their ads...

"Imagine an exchange of looks; a gaze full of liberty and love. That is the beginning of an unforgettable experience in Puerto Aventuras beside marine friends, the dolphins. During the Dolphin Encounter ® program, you and your family will have the opportunity to receive all the affection of these tender and playful animals that always seem to smile.Imagine an exchange of looks; a gaze full of liberty and love. That is the beginning of an unforgettable experience in Puerto Aventuras beside marine friends, the dolphins. During the Dolphin Encounter ® program, you and your family will have the opportunity to receive all the affection of these tender and playful animals that always seem to smile. In this swim with dolphins program your kids will be able to enjoy safe and fun activities that Dolphin Discovery Puerto Aventuras has specially designed for all ages. Doesn’t matter if you are 1 or 80 years...Your new friend will give you unlimited love, he will give you a Handshake, he will Sing and Hug, you will be able to pet him and swim in a place that he and his other dolphin friends call “home”: the Mexican Caribbean."

Hmmm, seem familiar?

Sounds pretty great, right? Well, even if you get past the fact that in spite of some marketing department's efforts to convince you that dolphins are just hanging around and learning tricks so you'll come and rescue them from being lonely and that they aren't wild animals, you're looking at a cost of anywhere from $90 to $200 each for a half hour of encounter time. Ouch! (that's the noise you'll make when you see your credit card statement...and also if you're violated by a 12" prehensile dolphin penis).
That's why I'm introducing (just in time for the winter tourist season here in Florida)...

Clark Brooks' Dog Encounter!

Imagine an exchange of looks; a gaze that says, "Hey, you got anything to eat? No? That's cool. But maybe later, we can get something to eat? Think about it; because I will be". That is the beginning of an unforgettable experience in Tampa, Florida, where you'll re-connect with Man's Best Friend, the dogs. During the Dog Encounter ® program, you and your family will have the opportunity to receive all the affection of these tender and playful animals that always seem hungry. In this swim with dogs program your kids will be able to enjoy safe and fun activities that Clark Brooks's Dog Encounter ® has specially designed for all ages. Doesn’t matter if you are 1 or 80 years...Your new friend will chase a tennis ball, he will give you a Handshake, he will chase a tennis ball, he will chase a tennis ball, you will be able to pet him and swim in a place that he and his other dog friends call “the causeway on the way to Clearwater, because Tampa actually doesn't have any beaches and all the 'nice' beaches generally don't allow dogs anyway”: the Courtney Campbell Causeway (connecting Tampa and Clearwater, because the dogs are right), between the Chevy van with some dude sleeping in it and a pile of broken beer bottles. All this for a mere fraction of what a session with dolphins would cost. Say, I don't know, $5? We'll work it out.
NOTE: Please allow at least two hours notice before booking your encounter, so I can round up some tennis balls. And a dog.