My Old School

The 30th (holy smokes!!) reunion of my high school graduating class is taking place this weekend back in Benton Harbor, Michigan. I had planned to attend but things just didn't work out between work and whatever other nonsense I have myself involved in right now. I live a long way from my hometown and have only gone back a couple of times since I graduated. Plus, by now I'm pretty sure that everybody who was a dick back then is either a better, more mature person now or dead. I think it would have been kind of fun to go catch up with some of those people. It just couldn't happen, unfortunately. So instead, I submitted an ad in the reunion program, which is posted just below. I hope they like it.

Hello Classmates,

I’m sorry I couldn’t be there with you in person to celebrate the 30th anniversary of our graduation from BHHS. Unfortunately, it appears I’ve come up a little short on completing some of the goals I set for myself back in ’82. I have not married a supermodel, divorced her and then married another even younger and prettier supermodel. I don’t have a solid gold helicopter or a talking lion. And the big one, that you would all be working for me by now, well, I haven’t even come close on that.


I live in Florida where I work as a freelance writer and am finishing my first book. Between paying my light bill and buying only the fanciest hot dogs or ramen noodles, there’s not a lot of money left over for buying helicopters and zoo animals, entertaining supermodels or building vast corporate empires. Oh well.


At any rate, I wish I could be there with you all so I could say things like “Boy, (insert name here) still looks great. But some of us (insert my own name here) have really let ourselves go.” I hope everyone is well and having a great time this weekend. I know Karen and the reunion committee have worked really hard so I’m sure it will be a great event. Feel free to get in touch via Facebook or something so I can hit you up to buy my book which will be out soon (seriously). Go Tigers!


 - Clark Brooks ’82 (better known to many of you as “uhh, who…?”)


www.clarkbrooks.com