Friday, June 26, 2015

Now, it's just Marriage

So as you're probably aware by now, this happened earlier today...
Supreme Court Affirms Constitutionality of Gay Marriage

This means, well, lots of things to lots of people...

  • For starters, as always, my shingle remains hung"THIS IS NOT A JOKE! As an officially ordained minister, I am qualified to legally marry the living daylights out of you and your spouse (Current record: 1-0). Seriously, I will marry you so hard, you won't walk right for a week. If you're straight, gay, lesbian or any other combination I'm not immediately aware of, it doesn't matter. It's all good! I don't care! I can commit weddings of ALL kinds. You find somebody you love who loves you back? Beautiful! We're in business. I'll make sure the necessary paperwork is taken care of and I'll perform the service. I'll even write the vows or incorporate yours into the ceremony, if you're writing your own (which I think you should because that's a really sweet and thoughtful thing to do). And here's what may be the best part: I work cheap! Check it out: All I require is an invitation to your wedding reception, seated at a table with one of the more morally casual bridesmaids."
  • For my friend, the very funny Jeff Rey, it means this: "Jokes done. I'm a comic before I'm an American, but I'm still an American, and I'm very proud of my country. 'the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were,' I hope all straight people can understand how healing it is for gay people to read this. I wish I could have heard this as a child, but then I wouldn't be funny. There were no models for healthy relationships for me growing up. That has been changing and this solidifies it. There will still be bigotry, hatred, and ridicule, but now it won't be justified. Future generations can know for a fact that their capacity for intimacy is not some deviation or deformity. It's the same human need. We don't have to relegate ourselves solely to bars, or debate if it's appropriate if a child sees us holding hands. We ain't Mr. Slaves anymore. We're your neighbors. I feel so much better than I would have thought. My reaction to this is one of psychic cleansing. I feel healthier. Good work guys. Now put a shirt on and go to work like everyone else faggots. All this contention. Now it's done. It's settled. Let us never speak of if again. Kinda like the Civil War."
  • For my "Spike on the Mic Show" castmate PW Fenton, it means: "Nice way to wrap up the week. Thank you, Supremes!"
  • My friend Hope Chanel echoes the TGIF sentiment: "Happy Friday indeed. One for the history books (even if WAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY overdue) and time to celebrate. I can't imagine not being able to demonstrate my love for my soulmate in every way anyone else can, and its hard to think that there was a time when George Carter and I wouldn't have been allowed either {Hope is white and her husband George is black}. The ignorance will not immediately die with legalization but it is a step in the right direction and it's about damn time!" PS: Hope and her husband operate a venue here in Tampa that would be great for weddings and/or wedding receptions.
  • The Onion sees it like this: Supreme Court Rules In Favor Of Most Buck-Wild Pride Parade Nation’s Ever Seen   "Associate Justice Sonia Sotomayor...agreed that the right to 'an uninterrupted three-day batshit insane rager' was mandated by the U.S. Constitution." (God bless The Onion)
  • And to this dink in Texas, it means he feels he needs to go all Lucille Bluth on the matter:
Have a great weekend, everybody. Celebrate something that doesn't happen very often: the fact that the world (at least this chunk of it) is measurably less shitty now than it was when we went to bed last night. 

Unless you're some dink in Texas, in which case, nobody cares what kind of weekend you have, you dink.

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