Tonight: Help prevent a car fire with your LOLZ

The other night, Cam Bertrand, someone I'm proud to say is a fellow comic and a friend, competed in the "Florida's Funniest" competition, which is a considerably bigger deal than the tournament I'm competing in tonight at Side Splitters, being as it is a statewide competition. Unfortunately, he didn't advance to the next round. Afterward, he posted this on Facebook:

"Couldn't be more proud of my comedy brothers Preacher Jovan Lawson Mike Charette and Rio Paris. The guys I had picked to win. Congrats family."

This kid: Class act.

Cam's a huge smartass but that was a classy gesture because down deep past all the smartass parts, he's a classy guy.

Here's the thing, though: I am not.

I'm a thin-skinned, petulant cry-baby with self-entitlement issues and I'm competing against Todd Stimmell tonight at Side Splitters. And if I lose, I'm going to set his car on fire. That's bad for two reasons...

1. I've met Todd and he seems like a nice guy who doesn't deserve to have his car set on fire.
2. I have no idea what kind of car he drives so the odds are that I'll be setting some random person's car on fire, somebody who's not even involved in the competition in any way.

So that means it's up to you. If you want to prevent an innocent victim (might be Todd Stimmell or a school teacher or a baby panda) from having to deal with a burnt-up car, the only thing you can do is come to Side Splitters tonight and, oh yeah, laugh at my jokes and then vote for me. As you are undoubtedly aware by now, you can do so for the low, low, LOW price of only $5 when you use my initials (CB) as the promo code when you buy online.

Tonight at 7 PM

Side Splitters

12938 North Dale Mabry Highway

Tampa, FL 33618

(813) 960-1197

BONUS INCENTIVE FOR YOU TO ATTEND: Cam Bertrand, the classy smartass himself, will be your host for the evening!

Remember, if you don't want this on your conscience...

...you know what to do.