It's almost that time again

March is almost over and unless I'm completely misinformed, April is up next. That means it's time to put another podcast together. It also means it's time to find another sponsor. The good news is (unless you hate the month of March and consider the fact that it's almost over enough good news for one day) my offer of free sponsorship from last month is still valid once again! Here's how it works:

Maybe you make these

And you want me to help you sell them. For free. Okay, no problem. The sponsorship announcement I write for you and then read in a professional-like manner might come out something like this:

"This edition of the The Ridiculously Inconsistent Podcast is made possible by a grant from Marge's (for the sake of this example, your name is Marge) Homemade Hats. If you're looking for a homemade hat, make it Marge's! That's Marge's Homemade Hats; Make your head happy!"

See? Awesome! And your cost? $0! Even better! The only possible drawback is that it's probably going to come out more like this:

"This edition of The Ridiculously Inconsistent Podcast is made possible by a grant from Marge's Homemade Hats. If you're looking for a way to make your head look even more stupid than it already does, you'd be hard-pressed to find a better way of doing that than by strapping on one of these shoddy mishaps and actually wandering around in public for a little while. That's Marge's Homemade Hats; I don't know why she hates your head but she clearly does."

Of course all you have to do to save yourself from that scenario, is simply not being the purveyor of shitty goods and/or services!

April's podcast will go up some time next week so get in touch real quick. First come, first served.

The Homemade Music Symposium

Between the decline in popularity of traditional so-called "terrestrial" radio stations, the abundant availability of music online and changes in the public's individual tastes, the recording industry as we know it is quickly becoming extinct. Understandably, many people within that industry, artists as well as executives, are very nervous while they wait to see how things shake out. Smart people, however, are not waiting at all and are already exploring new and different ways to connect with their audience in an effort to remain artistically and commercially viable. Those who can anticipate and stay ahead of the trends (the failure to do so, particularly in regards to the internet, is the biggest single reason the old paradigm is dying) stand to benefit the most. The days of big contracts (front loaded with tricky clauses that may or may not yield big pay days) and high exposure may be over but a new age with artists having greater freedom, control over their output (including ownership of their masters) and more real money finding it's way into their pockets (as opposed to some number written into a contract that only exists in that document) could be right around the corner.
So if you're a young artist looking to enter this turbulent market, how do you know what to do first? Well, a good place to get some ideas and network with people who could be of assistance is this weekend's Homemade Music Symposium, taking place at various locations in Ybor City. Presented by The Artists & Writers Group, Homemade is "designed to help musicians develop and compete in the modern commercial environment" and will feature workshops, guest speakers and performances. I plan on attending in the hope of meeting and working with new artists. I'm especially interested in the workshops on Saturday that cover marketing and media. I really hope to see people there.

Here's the event schedule, but of course there is more info available at the official symposium web site.

Wednesday - June 10 2009
The Dirty Shame - 7th Ave and 20th St in Ybor City (map)
7:00 PM An Evening with Tony Michaelides Stories from the ’24 Hour Party People” scene in Manchester UK and the birth of Punk and Rave Culture — Tony presents his personal reflections on relationships with icons like Tony Wilson from Factory Records, Martin Hannett, Joy Division, and The Happy Mondays with some never before seen video and audio.Free and open to public

Saturday - June 13 2009
HCC Art GalleryHCC-Ybor Performing Arts Center (map)
9:00AM - 10:30AM Opening Reception. Coffee and nibbles.
9:00AM - 7:00PM One-day show. Special exhibit featuring art works inspired by music and music makers. Featuring a live generative deconstruction sound/performance installation by AVAACC.

Main Stage HCC-Ybor Performing Arts Center
10:00 AM Poets of Popular Song. The Lyrics and Lyric Writers of the Great American SongbookRosa Rio, Paul Wilborn, Eugenie Bondurant
Noon Lunch Network with area professionals or check out some of the great restaurants in Ybor City
1:00 PM TuneCore and Digital Media Distribution. Peter Wells, Co-Founder of TuneCore
2:00 PM Area Record Labels and Artist Managers Panel. Ivan Peña (Mohawk Bomb Records), Brett Steele (Steele Management), Joe D'Acunto (THX MGMT), Steve Dube (Decadent Suite)
3:00 PM Alternative Media Promotion: Making the Most of Twitter, Facebook, and the Blog Network. Julia Gorzka (Social Media Consultant), Megan Voeller (Editor, artsqueeze.com), Darrin Guilbeau (siliconeadvantage.com), Stephen Hammill (Creative Loafing), Bryan Childs (ninebullets.net)
4:00 PM Marketing, Touring and Band Management: Content Managing for Bands. Joran Oppelt (Creative Loafing), Ivan Peña (Mohawk Bomb Records), Stephen Hammill (Creative Loafing), Shawn Kyle (REAX Magazine), Joe D'Acunto (THX MGMT)
5:00 PM How to Get the Most Out of a Studio Session. Steve Connelly (Zen Recording), Wes Price (Polysound Studios), Brian Merrill (Studio B), John Stephan (Springs Theatre)
6:00 PM Meet the Press: Area Music Critic Panel. Julie Garisto (St. Petersburg Times and tbt*), Curtis Ross (Tampa Tribune), Lee Courtney (WMNF Radio), Scott Harrell (REAX Magazine), Leilani Polk (Creative Loafing)

Studio TheatreHCC-Ybor Performing Arts Center
3:00 - 6:00 PM Theatrical Concepts in Video Recording. Stan Arthur (Filmmaker and Musician), Fred Smith (Grown Man Brand). Featuring Hypnophonic Band.

Rehearsal Hall HCC-Ybor Performing Arts Center
3:00 PM The Pranayama of Voice. Denise Moore (jazz vocal stylist and yoga teacher)
5:00 PM Using Your Electronic Press Kit and Website to Put More Money in Your Pocket. Ivan Pena (Mohawk Bomb Records)

HCC Art GalleryHCC-Ybor Performing Arts Center
3:00 PM Special exhibit featuring art works inspired by music and music makers.

Saturday Night Showcase - June 13 2009
An evening of Special Guests and Performers at Venues All Across Ybor $5 per venue or $10 for an All-Access Pass (Sold at the Symposium and New World Brewery)

New World Brewery1313 E 8th Ave (map)
8:00 PM - 1:00 AM Homemade Symposium Showcase. Featuring Will Quinlan, Rebekah Pulley and the Reluctant Prophets, Lorna Bracewell, Skull and Bone Band, and 10th Concession Sonic Departures: Avant Garde InterludesFeaturing the Aripeka Stompers (Clogging), Rayzilla (Psychedelic Bass), Lee Hinkle (Avant Garde Zarb), John McCoy (Nintendo DS Techno), The Hole (Ukulele)

Crowbar 1812 17th St N (map)
8:00 PM - 1:00 AM Mohawk Bomb Records Showcase. Featuring Hat Trick Heroes, The Orchid Thief, Ascending to Avalon and Rise of Saturn

The Roosevelt1812 15th St N (map)
8:00 PM - 1:00 AM Project 3.0 & Tek-nique Entertainment Present Re:Create The Art of Upcycle "Upcycling the practice of taking something disposable & transforming it into something of greater use and value."Art & Live Works By:Carlos Pons Paz, Isiah Perkins (Boundless Creativity), Efrin Rebugio Jr. (Everyday Research), Christine Galas, Greg Latch (Y.A.A & Ybor Art Colony)Performing live:Dynasty, Slimm Hustle, Shardz of Glass, Dj Furious and More TBA Poetry By: Xzanthia, Katie Punto + More

Arts on 9th 1513 E 9th Ave (map)
8:00 PM - 1:00 AM New Performers from the Next Generation. Featuring Next Exit and Friends

Sunday - June 14 2009 Free and Open to the Public
Ybor City Museum State Park 1818 E 9th Ave (map)
1:00 PM Stephanie Carpenter
2:00 PM Hypnophonic Band
4:00 PM Francillia & Lorna Bracewell
5:00 PM Ella Jet featuring Experimental Pilot

Tre Amici @ The Bunker 1907 19th St N (map)
1:00 PM In Vogue: Tips on Promotional Photography. Jesse Stehlik (Stehlik Photography)
2:00 PM Bunko Squad and Ronnie Elliott
3:00 PM State of the Scene Town hall meeting to discuss pertinent issues in the area music scene
4:30 PM Insights from the Engine Room Tony Michaelides
6:00 - 8:00 PM Homemade Wrap Party

REAX Space1911 19th St N (map)
1:30 PM DIY Sound Recording Stephen Hammill (Creative Loafing), Brian Merrill (Studio B), Alastair St. Hill
4:00 PM Using Homebrew Software in the Nintendo DS and Audiomulch John McCoy

Arnold Martinez Gallery1909 19th St N (map)
1:00 PM Steve Vaclavik
2:00 PM Papos Frassica
4:00 PM Emily Roff

Mermaid's Slipper1903 19th St N (map)
1:30 PM 10th Concession
2:30 PM Liz Hollister
4:00 PM Fred Slutsky
4:30 PM Charlotte Lee
5:00 PM Harry Hayward

Tuesday - June 16 2009 Free and Open to the Public
Main Stage HCC-Ybor Performing Arts Center (map)
7:30 PM Theatrical Music for Solo Percussion. Lee Hinkle, Doctoral Candidate at University of Maryland, and Robert McCormick, University of South Florida Professor of Percussion, will present a concert of contemporary percussion music that incorporates a variety of performance genres into the art of percussion. Highlights include the Daniel Adams marimba duo "Road Traversed and Reversed" and the Florida premiere of Stuart Saunders Smith's "The Authors for Marimba / Vocalist".

Homemade Music Symposium wrap-up

I think it may be time to officially admit that I'm getting old. I'm writing this on Sunday night following a three hour nap after getting home from the Homemade Music Symposium in Ybor this weekend. Although, the last part of today was spent outside in what I was told was a heat index of 105° so maybe I have an alibi.
Anyway, the event itself was fantastic. A great mix of business and music with artists and industry people mingling and sharing ideas. The state of the music industry itself, which can best be described as "in flux" (which I believe is Latin for "dying painfully") and how to survive and thrive was the theme throughout. Brian Childs of ninebullets.net went so far as to proclaim that any attempt to make a living as a professional musician was basically doomed unless you can use your music to draw people to shows so they can buy tee shirts. That's sobering and a lot of people probably didn't like hearing it but it's the reality we live in now. The encouraging thing was seeing how many people still want to be musicians in spite of everything. The fact that now maybe more than ever it is not an expressway to fame and fortune would seem to indicate that these people have a genuine passion for their music itself which can be seen as nothing but a positive development.
If you didn't go and wanted to, here are the three important themes:

• Have and maintain an online presence.
• Play live, often.
• Repeat steps 1 and 2 as necessary (as necessary = always).

Now, here's the not-quite-as-important stuff that I know some of you have been looking for.
These are the contents of the goody bag that was waiting for me in my hotel room suite at the Hampton Inn. Why did I get a goody bag? Because:
A) I'm a big shot blogger and the things I write are important and change people's lives and they love me for it.
B) I'm a big shot blogger and I can either build or destroy entire empires with but a few keystrokes, bitches.
C) Some people are just nice to me for some reason.

(There is probably a slightly larger nugget of truth in one of those items than the other two)

I took a few minutes to pose for publicity photos for the new buddy cop drama starring myself and Kelly Brophy ("rhymes with trophy"). One's a fashion designer, the other's a writer. Both wear glasses. Neither has a real gun. Coming this fall to Fox.

One of my dinner companions was on a mission to eat ALL the ketchup in Ybor City Saturday night. She is out of control and needs to be stopped. Maybe it's a case we can cover on our buddy cop show this fall.

The great Rebekah Pulley played at New World Brewery Saturday night. It is always a privilege to see her perform. I got to see other remarkable artists over the course of the weekend, including Lorna Bracewell, 10th Concession, Lee Hinkle, Bunko Squad and Ronny Elliott.

This is Emily Roff. I think she is amazing and truly gifted. I've seen her play twice and was blown away both times. Regardless of the state of the music biz, I find it very difficult to understand how she is not a bigger star than half the people you read about in Rolling Stone.

Here are some more pictures, taken by Kelly Hickman, who is as at least as talented in her own right as any artist mentioned here.

PS: She also took the picture at the top of this page.

CDs for sale

Lorna Bracewell @ New World Brewery

Rebekah Pulley @ New World Brewery

Ronny Elliott @ The Bunker

Mixed messages, via Twitter

Flugtag 2008

The Red Bull Flugtag was presented here on Saturday, for the first time in Tampa Bay, and I attended with a group of friends along with another 110,000 people or so. The arrow on the right indicates roughly where I was. See me? I'm jumping up and down and waving! Hello!
In case you're not familiar with it, Flugtag, a German term meaning "Flying Day", consists of teams of people building homemade, human-powered flying machines and piloting them off a 30-foot high deck in hopes of achieving flight. They never do, though. So it's basically the Superbowl of putting on ridiculous costumes, building stuff and pushing it off a ledge into water. And yes, this is as funny and entertaining as it sounds. When it comes to free entertainment, it's hard to beat people falling into water. Costumes and flying machines that don't just add bonus points.
Tampa is one of three cities to host the event this year, the others being Chicago and Portland, Oregon later this summer. Red Bull has sponsored about 40 of these so far and we (Tampa) set an attendance record, more than doubling the 50,000 that had been projected. I'm not surprised; literally everyone I spoke to for the last two weeks was planning on going. I think event planners were caught off guard though.

• It was scheduled to begin at 1:00 and we got there at 11:00 when gates were supposed to open. But it was obvious that a lot of people had gotten in and set up camp much earlier than that, as evidenced by us ending up where we did.
• In spite of previously published warnings about things that wouldn't be allowed in, there weren't even cursory bag searches taking place, at least not at the gate where we entered (right outside the convention center).
• Food and beverage locations were few and far between, which was a matter of major concern because with that many people packed in that tightly, smack in the middle of the day, smack in the middle of July (why didn't they schedule it for later, like around dusk?), remaining hydrated was of vital importance. Just because we were closer to the hospital than the launch pad doesn't mean I wanted to go there. Eventually, even though we drank plenty of fluids, our group just couldn't hang so we left around 2:00 and watched the rest of it from The Press Box. We had a good time but it was just too hot and too crowded to be enjoyable after a while.
• A group of people who were probably a little put out would be those presenting and attending METROCON which was taking place simultaneously at the Tampa Convention Center. Some of the more elaborately costumed anime fans might have had legitimate concerns about being mistakenly tossed into the drink by overly lubricated enthusiastic Flugtaggers.
• I don't think there were nearly enough police officers on hand to handle traffic. We left well before the end and we still wound up stuck in pretty thick traffic on the way out. I can't even imagine what it was like when the event was over.
• Lastly, I don't understand why the city didn't take advantage of the event to publicize the Riverwalk. After all, that's really where it took place. For all the publicity the event got leading up to the big day, there was never a mention of Mayor Iorio's legacy project and it's proximity to the convention center as well as all the exciting cultural/dining/retail shopping opportunities offered in downtown Tampa...or will be some day...hopefully. I don't know. It just seems like somebody in marketing would have thought of that, that's all.

Overall, it was fun but there's lots of room for improvement if/when it comes back.

Relay Wrap-Up

The 6th Annual Temple Terrace Relay For Life is now history. What an experience! We had a blast, doing some good work, staying up all night long and engaging in fierce (but friendly) combat with our loyal opposition, Team Go Go ( the team that got kinda upset because I sorta poked fun at them but then chilled out when they realized that I was poking more fun at myself).


I'd like to take you through some of the highlights from the event now, as best as I possibly can.

FRIDAY, 6:00PM - Opening ceremonies. Well, the official opening ceremonies for most of the participants. Certain members of our team, including myself, were drafted by the logistics committee to help out and we were actually laying out the parking lot the night before. I took this opportunity to write "DADDY-O RULES" in six foot letters with the chalk machine, just in case anybody from Team Go Go happened to be flying by in an airplane. Ha ha! take that, Team Go Go! We also were on site early Friday, helping set up tents and lugging chairs, tables and ice chests around. So I was a little worried when I felt like I needed a nap before the invocation was even finished.

6:30PM - Captains lap, to spotlight the hard work done by the leaders of the teams. I was more than a little nervous as we approached Team Go Go's campsite. I anticipated water balloons or small arms fire or something in between so I had brought a peace offering; a customized bowling pin that members of our team had prepared for them. I presented it humbly and graciously with the hope that this token would breed harmony between our tribes. I was told "Yeah, we got something for you too and we'll give it to you later." Uh-oh (that's what the pros call 'foreshadowing').

From 7:00PM on - Lots of walking. Not so much by me. I told my team I was saving myself for the wee hours so they could sleep like babies while I selflessly carried the burden for them. Of course, I was lying but I knew they'd be asleep and wouldn't know any better. The best lies are always those with the fewest witnesses.
Also during this time, we sold bottled water, fruit and baked goods. Everybody at Relay sets up an on-site fundraiser and people from all the teams spend the time patronizing each other's campsites. Our on-site fundraiser was supposed to have been a really cool vintage shuffle bowl machine. Unfortunately, the company who was supposed to provide this machine for us (NOT the company in the link!) wasn't able to fulfill their commitment, which I didn't find out about until Wednesday, about 48 hours before the event (and I had to call them to find out at all). I really can't say much more about that without potentially making myself vulnerable to a lawsuit for libel so I can't mention this company by name or why I believe they are communists who traffic in bootleg baby aspirin from Mexico. Anyway, a couple people on the team stepped up with some outstanding homemade cookies and cupcakes that sold like cupcakes and cookies, so we recovered nicely.

Saturday, 2:00AM - The Beauty Contest. Ah yes. The Beauty Contest. Not some ordinary, average, run-of-the-mill beauty contest, but a very special beauty contest, where men dress up as women. I was chosen by my team to represent us in this competition, a decision for which I complimented them on their impeccable taste. The only caveat I insisted on was no high heel shoes, only because I don't need to break my ankles trying to walk around in some kind of medieval torture devices just to make my booty stick out real nice. Other than that, I told them to go nuts (my exact words). This would turn out to be the only instruction I gave that they actually followed...
I know. Hot, right? Yeah, I know. Anyway, I worked that thing, honey. Whatever that means. Team Go Go's representative was knocked out in the first round, but they all stuck around and cheered for me. Because of the support I had from two teams, I made it all the way into the finals, eventually finishing second. I lost to some high school teacher (skinny little bitch) who had his entire school there, screaming for him like it was a Justin Timberlake concert. I don't even think they took the time to notice how my booty stuck out real nice without the benefit of some stupid shoes. Oh well.

Some time around 3:00AM or maybe 4;00AM - Nighty-night time. Everybody on the team crashed except for four of us. We stayed up talking and learning about each other. Because let me tell you, I don't care how well you think you know someone. Until you've stayed up literally around the clock with them without the benefit of intoxicants, I guarantee you will find out something new. This is an edited (for brevity) but actual conversation that took place:
"If it were in style to wear meat in your hair, what kind of meat would you choose and why?"
"I'd go with a nice filet mignon"
"How the hell would you wear a filet mignon in your hair?"
"With braids!"
"How would that work? That wouldn't work"
"What about you? You'd pick bacon, obviously"
"No, I wouldn't. But I want to hear how she would wear a filet with braids"
"You love bacon!"
"I would cut a hole in the filet, run the braid through the middle of it and tie it off at the end. See?"
"(angrily) I don't even know why you're acting like you wouldn't pick bacon. You know you would."
"For your information, Miss Know-It-All, I would pick lil' smokies and I'd wear them as little greasy beads like Bo Derek!"
"Hey, what kind of cheese would you wear in your hair?"
"Well, now you're just being silly."
(I said I'd go with shaved ham, tiled across my head like shingles on a roof...for whatever that's worth. At any rate, I don't know what's more disturbing, the fact that we had this conversation at all or that I remember it as vividly as I do.)

6:00AM - Wake-up call. Not necessary for me, i stayed up the entire team. A couple of people on our team hung in for the most part but I was the only one who never nodded off even once. Yay me.

8:45AM - Team Go Go finally comes calling. Dressed as a team of synchronized swimmers, they were going around the track with a choreographed routine, with a song and dance steps and everything. They stopped right in front of our campsite and gave a special performance just for us, concluding with showing us their underwear (worn on the outside of their costumes) with "CAPTAIN" written on it and presenting me with a bag of Swirly brand gummi bears, all references to the original post on this blog. Nice. All I could do was applaud as I watched in admiration, the way a general might review the precision of drill exercises performed by the troops of another general's army.

11:00AM - Closing ceremony and presentation of awards. By this time, we pretty much realized that Team Go Go, who raised an incredible $13,000.00 were going to sweep the awards once again as they do every year. But we had been tipped off that we'd won the Best Banner Award (which looked just like the logo you see above) and we were pretty happy about that. Plus, we had raised about $3800.00 of the overall $145,000.00 netted from the event, 6th highest total out of 51 participating teams. Not too shabby for rookies, I thought, and sat back to enjoy the cool of the morning. However, just before presenting the Spirit Award, the one that I had really hoped to win, one of the committee members announced that they had changed the award process and that there would now be two divisions, one for established teams (like Team Go Go) and one for newcomers (us!). This was the equivalent of the Academy Award for Best Picture being separated into drama and comedy divisions, meaning that a well-made, important, meaningful film like "Schindler's List" could win the Oscar it deserves while your big screen adaptation of "Laverne & Shirley" starring Steve Guttenberg still has a chance of winning something too. "Holy crap", I thought, "we're gonna win this!" At that moment, I knew exactly how Charlie Brown feels every time he goes to kick that football because unfortunately, it was not to be. We finished second in the newbie category behind Armwood High School, the school whose teacher beat me in the beauty contest. So now I guess instead of hating Team Go Go, I have to start hating a bunch of meddling high school kids. Which I can live with, since I already hate high school kids. And like Charlie Brown, I'll be back to lead Team Daddy-O Alley Katz in an attempt to kick the football again next year.
Although, I do want to try some sort of choreographed routine for Team Go-Go. Hmm, I wonder what the FAMU Marching 100 are doing next April...

Finally! A new podcast! Sittin' around talkin' with Lynne Austin

Well, looky here! After a three-month hiatus (which is Latin for slacking off), here's a brand shiny new podcast for you!

Remember when I interviewed Lynne Austin on the blog way back in 2009? Of course you do; it's only the most popular post in the history of the ol' purple blog (thank you so much, perverts looking for naked pictures of the original Hooters Girl!!). Well, that was five long years ago and lots of stuff can happen in five years, such as her becoming one of my favorite people and probably the most organically funny person I know. Hence the necessity for a new interview! Except La Austin doesn't do interviews anymore, so this is just us having a conversation about various things. If you think you know all about the woman who was a Playboy centerfold, a baseball wife, a radio personality and of course, the face (and other stuff) that launched a billion chicken wings, you might be surprised by what she has to say.
So hear it is, The Ridiculously Inconsistent Podcast with special guest Lynne Austin. Enjoy!

Also, you need to know that she did make me some homemade butter and it was delicious.

As promised, the Lion no longer sleeps!

"I've got good news...we're putting the band back together!" --Johnny G Lyon March 17, 2009, around 8:30 or so.

And with that declaration, followed by the JGLB launching into 'Let The Good Times Roll', the Proud Lion Pub was officially back in business. Let me tell you something; these days when simple, pure joy is so hard to find, you can't do much better than being there when a man with a guitar opens his own tavern. Maybe a litter of golden retriever puppies frolicking in a meadow under a rainbow, but it's close. Johnny and his band (featuring Tommy Duncan, Ray Blade and Ben Jammin) played for the listening and dancing pleasure of what seemed like over a hundred close friends and family (seriously, I think everybody there got at least one shout-out from the too-small-and-soon-to-be-expanded stage). Johnny is one of those guys who will play until you make him stop, much to the frustration of the smokers in his band, all dying for cigarettes four songs and about 20 minutes after he promised a break. The joint was hot and sticky, funky the way it's supposed to be when a good bar band holds court. On the food and beverage side, there were free chicken wings and since it was St. Patrick's Day, lots of beer consumed to celebrate everyone's oft-ignored Irish heritage.
As far as who was there, there were a lot of people I didn't know, which is understandable being as this is a new incarnation of an old favorite, but still kind of jarring. It was kind of like when you were a kid and you'd find strangers playing in some woods that you thought only you and your friends knew about, but everybody winds up getting along anyway somehow.
People I did recognize included Mike from the kitchen, Diane behind the bar and of course, former owners Steve and Dave, who will be hanging around for a month or so to help get the place back on it's feet. I did get Steve to commit to making his homemade lasagna at least once before they ride off into the sunset again.
Of course, there's a lot of back-breaking work ahead. As I mentioned previously, that's the only way you can succeed in that business (I know virtually nothing about the bar and restaurant biz, aside from that fundamental truth. As a result, don't hold your breath waiting for the grand opening of "Clark's Place" unless you happen to look good in purple). But if they can sustain the vibe that was there last night, they're going to more than okay.

Pledge and get perked!

As the entertainment industry continues to undergo evolutionary changes, I've become a huge fan of these new pledge-based funding platforms that have sprung up. In case you're not familiar with them and how they work, what happens is an artist who needs funding for a project launches a campaign where they explain to the public (and ideally, a target audience) what they want to do and how much it will cost. Individuals decide whether they want to support that effort and to what extent. In exchange, the artist offers "perks", in the form of exclusive rewards, for their pledges. If the campaign is a success, the patron is charged at that time while the artist receives the funds and goes on to complete their project. If for whatever reason the campaign falls short of it's expressed goal, the artist receives nothing and the patron pays nothing.
To me, this is ideally organic and democratic. It's truly grassroots and fan-friendly, elements that have traditionally been absent or, at best, artificially simulated in the entertainment industry. The market decides if it wants the product based on potential merit without the undue influence of a loud, obnoxious marketing campaign. I mean, the strength of the artist's appeal certainly plays a role but that's a one-time pitch direct from the source. It also allows the patron to determine at which level they want to contribute (some campaigns will accept as little as five bucks) and they're rewarded proportionately for going above and beyond with their support. Seriously, what's more democratic than that? Rebekah Pulley funded her latest album "Tra La La" this way via Kickstarter. Backers who pledged $5 got a sticker while those who pledged $250 or more to that campaign were treated to homemade eggplant parmesan from bassist Rob Pastore. Spike Lee has launched a Kickstarter to fund his next movie. A pledge of $5 to that project gets you a personal thank you and behind the scenes updates and $10,000 will put you in a front row seat next to the award-winning director at a New York Knicks game.

Another platform that operates the same way is Pledge Music, where fDeluxe (formerly known as The Family), a band that is near and dear to my heart personally, is trying to finance their next album. Here's some background for those of you who are not Purpleheads or Prince freaks or whatever it is we're being called these days:

• In the mid-1980s, Prince was at the height of his commercial fame and was using his influence to spin off a number of new bands and side projects for his Paisley Park record label, most of whom produced little or no material. There are two artists and two eponymous albums that came out of that period that remain highly regarded all these years later. One was Jill Jones in 1987 and the other was The Family in 1985. The Family was a funk band with jazz influences and was comprised of Paul "St. Paul" Peterson, Susannah Melvoin, saxophonist Eric Leeds, drummer "Jellybean" Johnson and Jerome Benton. Their one and only album had only eight songs (including the first recorded version of "Nothing Compares 2 U") and the band never toured but they've been held in high regard by Prince fans for almost 30 years now. In 2003, they got together to perform at a charity function and in 2007, Peterson, Melvoin, Leeds and Johnson started making plans to work together again as a band. Reforming as "fDeluxe" and out out from under the control of Prince, they released the album "Gaslight" in 2011. 

Thanks to the access provided by the internet, fans were able to tune in to recording sessions and interact with the band via UStream feeds. Thanks to that accessibility, I've been able to interact and get to know Paul Peterson a little bit. In a weird, "it's-a-small-world" circumstance, he hooked me up with an interview with his daughter Taylor for a story I wrote for RawCharge.com about Jack Jablonski and Jenna Privette that had nothing to do with music. It's connections like these that make me sad for people who don't see the positive aspects of participating in social media.

Anyway, I made my pledge and look forward to receiving and listening to my autographed CD, where my name will be listed in the "thank you"s in the liner notes. ,click here to contribute and get a nice juicy perk of your own. You can listen to the songs from "Gaslight" there too.

One sporting event we'll never host

Unless Al Gore's inconvenient forecast is overly optimistic, in spite of the best efforts of Rob Higgins and Paul Catoe, Tampa Bay will never host the NHL's Winter Classic. If you're not familiar with what that is, it's a regular season game between two National Hockey League teams...played outdoors. Not an exhibition, but an actual game whose results count in the standings. The NHL hopes to make this a regular, if not annual, occurence. Previously, the Montreal Canadiens and Edmonton Oilers played an outdoor game four years ago. And Michigan and Michigan State played outdoors in 2001. This year's Classic featured the Pittsburgh Penguins versus the Buffalo Sabres at Ralph Wilson Stadium, home of the NFL's Buffalo Bills. The game drew an NHL record crowd of 71,217 who sat through snow and temperatures in the 20s to see the Penguins win 2-1 in a shootout. While debate continues over whether or not Tampa is a hockey town, uh, it gets cold here (although up north friends and relatives will vehemently disagree) but it ain't gonna get...or more importantly, stay...that cold any time soon.

In spite of the poor playing conditions (weather necessitated near-constant ice maintenance), the game was a lot of fun to watch, with all that snow and players like Ryan Miller and his homemade toque getting into the spirit of it:

So I guess we'll just have to accept that our Lightning are forever house-bound when it comes to home games and make do with all the Superbowls, Final Fours, college football bowl games and (at least hypothetically possible) World Series to satisfy our appetites when it comes to high profile sporting events.

Cerama-lama-ding-dong!

Ok, maybe I've found my next creative pursuit after all.

Recently I tagged along with some artsy-fartsy friends to this place. The way it works is you buy something, paint it, they do crazy stuff to it with an oven and some voodoo. One week later you come back and take it home. This is known as "ceramics". It's where coffee cups, doggie dishes, Christmas decorations and lawn gnomes come from. When I was a kid my mom, aunt and grandmother all did it but I never participated. However, it's apparent that I must be genetically inclined for ceramics mastery because VOILA!:
See, it's a bowl to eat cereal from. I like to eat cereal late at night so it's got a late night theme with a moon and stars and shit on it. Here's my special recipe for late night cereal...

CLARK'S SPECIAL LATE NIGHT CEREAL RECIPE
INGREDIENTS:
Cereal
Sugar
Milk
INSTRUCTIONS:
1) Pour all ingredients together into cartoonishly enormous homemade purple ceramic bowl
2) Eat it (NOTE: I recommend using a spoon)

Feel free to print this out and stick it on your fridge. I promise I won't sue.


As you can plainly see, this is the perfect bowl for this special recipe! When I finish eating all the cereal, I'm rewarded with the clever play on words painted at the bottom and I go to bed with a chuckle. Is there a better way to go to bed at night? I submit to you that there is not!

If you don't have one (which you don't because I only made one) and want one (and honestly, how could you not at this point?), send me $37.50 and I will make one and send it to you. I will even personalize it at no extra charge!

Burp

I just spent the last three hours watching the film "Waterworld". On purpose. It was like eating an entire bag of Funnyons for dinner; I figured it couldn't possibly be as bad as I remember it but three hours later I find myself feeling bloated, disoriented and a little disgusted with myself. In my defense, there honestly was nothing else on TV tonight (aren't the new shows supposed to be on now?) so they caught me when I was vulnerable. Plus, I've noticed it's been on the local cable channels a lot lately. I flipped past it twice on different channels this past weekend before caving in tonight. I'm not sure if it's because somebody's decided with all the discussion of global warming taking place that this film is suddenly relevant but I sincerely doubt the solution has anything whatsoever to do with a urine-drinking Kevin Costner bungee jumping from a homemade zeppelin to save a little girl with a tramp stamp from a three way exploding jet ski collision.