Sibling revelry

I tried to give my little sister, Connie, a call yesterday, you know, because it's the holidays and all, and I got a disconnected number. We've never been what anybody would describe as close but it's not because we have any animosity towards each other (at least I don't think so). We've never even had a real serious falling out that I can remember. Since there's no big issue at the heart of the matter, I never really thought about why we don't interact more frequently. Until yesterday. "Wow", I thought to myself, "I have one sibling and I don't even have her up-to-date contact info." So I went through my organizer and eventually tracked her down at another number. After making small talk, I asked her if she'd like to be interviewed for this blog.

"...why?", she asked.

"I don't know. Maybe it'll be interesting."

"...okay", she answered.

So I whipped up some questions for her. Here they are, along with her answers.

ME: So, like, what's your deal?
HER: Seven Card Stud, Deuces Wild.

ME: That's a card joke, right? I get it.

HER: Yeah.

ME: We talk about once a year or so. Do you think that's weird?
HER: When you can explain normal to me, I'll let you know.

ME: What's my nephew Tony up to these days?
HER: About 5' 6". Starts basketball this week at the Boys & Girls club. Starts high school next year.

ME: Growing up, on a scale of resentment to hero worship, how did I rank as a big brother?
HER: This would have been an easier question if you would have given me a scale of, oh say, 1 to 2 1/2.

ME: When you talk about me to friends and associates, as I'm sure you often do, do you refer to me as comic genius, star athlete, award winning actor or as-yet-undiscovered rock star?
HER: How did you know you are always the main topic of all my discussions with the bag lady on the corner? Her cats just think you are the Bee's Knee's.

ME: Do you still smoke?
HER: Yup

ME: Gross.

HER: ...

ME: I never did, but you do? Why do you think that is?
HER: Because heroin is too expensive. Oh yeah, and illegal too.

ME: Who do you think you take after more, mom or dad?
HER: Dad. I definitely got his eyebrows. But I did get Mom's big feet.
ME: How about me?
HER: Mom. You got her sick sense of wry humor. As well as her height.

ME: You make it sound like mom looks like Manute Bol.

HER: Who's that?

ME: Never mind.

ME: Who's your favorite musical artist(s)?
HER: Hard to choose on this one, The Doors, Janis Joplin, Jane's Addiction, George Duke, Beatles, Robin Trower, John Mayer, k.d. lang, this list goes on....

ME: I like some of those people.

HER: Cool.

ME: Okay, well...

HER: ...

ME: Uh, talk to you in 11 months or so.

HER: Later.