Monday, April 18, 2011

Clothes make the man

Time to find a new thang
From the Charlotte Observer (Charlotte, NC) -
"A robbery suspect is in jail after a T-shirt with his photo on it was found outside a home police say he robbed last week...The black T-shirt showed a photo - apparently a mug shot - of a young man and read 'Making money is my thang.' The victim realized the photo was of the man who had just robbed him, police said."
First off, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Secondly, how does something like this happen?
Thirdly, I think I know how something like this happens...

"Good afternoon. Welcome to Thee Fancy Tee Shirt Shoppe. How may I help you?"
"Good day, sir. I am seeking to promote myself and my endeavors and I would like to do so with a garment that makes a bold statement. Specifically, a garment with a picture of my own face on it."
"In that case, you have made two wise choices, my friend. One, in thinking up such a brilliant idea and another in coming here to make it a reality!"
"Thank you! I brought along the photo I'd like to use."
"This appears to be a police mug shot."
"It is a police mug shot, yes."
"I've got other photographs of myself, sure. But I just really like this one. I don't know why exactly. I think they really captured the real me."
"So to speak."
"Of course."
"Well, it definitely sends a message."
"I concur! That is exactly what I was thinking!"
"When I look at this picture, I think, 'this guy is aggressive, he's got style, he's a go-getter, he's heading to the top'."
"That is precisely the image I'm seeking to portray."
"This picture definitely goes a long way in establishing that. But might I make a suggestion?"
"By all means. I trust your expertise implicitly."
"I think a caption would set the photo off nicely. Perhaps a motto."
"A mission statement of sorts?"
"Yes, exactly. A brief summary of your principles and ideals. Like 'SEIZE THE DAY' or 'WINNING'."
"Hmm, I'd kind of like it to be something classy..."
"Oh, classy! Well, in that case, how about 'MAKING MONEY IS MY THING'?"
"That's good. That's very, very good. But can you make it 'THANG' instead? Sometimes, I like to show a bit of panache by adding some 'street' patois."
"Excellent idea, sir! A dash of urban √©lan will really make this T-shirt stand out! I'll have it for you in about an hour. Shall I box it for you or will you be wearing it out?"
"Neither. I'm just going to carry it with me when I go to, uh, work."

I just hope when they arrested him, they gave him the shirt back so he could be photographed wearing a shirt with a picture of his mug shot in a mug shot and that the same thing happens three or four times, resulting in a mind-blowingly awesome T-shirt.


tampa bob said...

Classic lowlife behavior.

RottenMom said...

Oh. My. God.