First, there is apparently A LOT of blood in a human body, more than I would have previously guessed. Because on first sight, I assumed the bleeder was dead and he was not. I will probably not freak out the next time I cut myself shaving and it won't stop right away.
Second, I don't pretend to be some kind of macho man, great fighter person (I haven't fought anyone since I was much younger, and even then, it was infrequent). I prefer to get by with a menacing physical presence ('m a big dude and I can glare like nobody's business) and by fighting dirty, based on the premise that if a situation is ever serious enough to force me to engage physically with someone, there is a lot more at stake than honor and sportsmanship and I would prefer to end the conflict as quickly and decisively in my favor as possible.
Seriously, who has time for this? |
- Oh shit.
- That's my blood, on the outside of my body. This troubles me in that I would prefer that it were still inside of my body.
- I would like to take steps immediately to make sure that more of my blood does not come outside of my body, please.
- Oh shit!
- Wait. Any chance that he's bleeding and not me?
- Nope. That's definitely my blood. He appears to be fine, relatively speaking, by way of comparison.
- Oh shit!!
- If I apologize right now, I wonder if he would drive me to the hospital.
- Probably not. I wouldn't if I were him.
- Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit.
Me, I just want to fight cancer.
OR MAIL CHECKS AND/OR MONEY ORDERS (payable to The American Cancer Society) TO ME AT:
3655 Coopers Pond Drive, #202,
Tampa, FL, 33614
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