A short conversation about personnel decisions

They also serve who only explode and die.



"Sir, did you complete the assignments for today's mission?"

"Almost. I'm having trouble with this last slot though. I just can't decide between Porkins or Skywalker."

"Porkins is a good man..."

"You know what? Porkins is a good man. He always does a great job as Santa the Claus at the annual Christmas party."

"The children love him, sir."

"It's just that, well, I feel like the universe is sending me a hint, you know?"

"The universe, sir?"

"Yeah, I try to keep an open mind about The Force; I don't necessarily believe but I don't discount either. But here I am, having to choose a team of top-notch combat pilots to take on the Death Star and my choices are a guy named Skywalker or a guy named Porkins. This is big. Like, a star of death, you know? There's no margin for error here. And suddenly, the blueprints for the damn thing suddenly fall into our hands, delivered by somebody named Skywalker? Wow!"

"I guess I can see where that would..."

"I mean, the other guy's name is Porkins. Come on. Porkins?"

"Sir, I'd like to point out that Porkins has gone through all the specialized training and is a veteran of several successful missions, while this Skywalker kid showed up here a couple of hours ago, fresh off a farm where he wasn't even allowed to go shopping by himself, and has apparently gotten at least one old man killed already, so..."

"Well, when you put it like that..."

"Of course, you don't really want to screw around when it comes to The Force."

"..."

"And Skywalker did bring his own robots with him."

"Screw it, I'm going to send them both."

"Goood idea, sir. After all, you know what they say; go big or go home."

"Is...that a Porkins joke?"

"Sir...?"

"Never mind."