Still tacky after all these years

The other day, I mentioned a brief visit to "Swampy: World's Largest Alligator". 'Brief', as in 'didn't even get out of the car, let alone explore the world of wonders that undoubtedly lies within'. I don't want to give the impression that my companions that day are joyless sticks-in-the-mud. Far from it, in fact. Under other circumstances (not being hot, tired, hungry, thirsty and several hours from home), they'd have been very receptive to the idea. It's cool, I understand. It's just that I'm all about that kind of thing and there's no question that it would have generated enough material for a blog post all it's own.
Luckily, this is Florida and stuff like that is never far away. For instance, here are some souvenirs that are available for sale right now at a nearby store...

Florida's delicate eco-system, depicted on a license plate! Alligators feed on flamingos when not being assaulted by dolphins. And yes, the one below does say "MAFIA". Who wouldn't want that on their car?

"Hmm, tacky is one thing, but do you have anything racially offensive?" You'd better believe it, Chester! Jim Crow may be history but art is forever!

Gator heads! Decorative? Practical? Collectible? None of the above. What's your point?



Mesh booty shorts! Pick up a couple pairs for the grandkids back in Toronto!



Turtle sex coffee mug! Who wouldn't see the humor in this?

Oh. Sorry.

Is this better, easily offended turtles? You're welcome.

Ybor City bandanna! This truly is the hotest souvenir of the hotest night spot in Tampa!