An adventure with Peter Pan!

I know this guy who likes to dress like Peter Pan and Wednesday night, I helped him retrieve his stolen canoe.
It's entirely possible that right now your brain made that record-scratch noise and you're saying, "hold on a sec, blog boy; you can't introduce a character who likes to dress like Peter Pan and then launch right into your canoe story without providing some background."
Fair enough.
For those who don't know, Randy Constan is a guy who lives here in Tampa and he likes to dress like Peter Pan. He's been on tv (Conan and Kimmel among others) and is something of an internet celebrity. I met him through various mutual associations. You're entitled to judge him as weird or whatever. That's human nature. Here's a link to his web site if you want to learn more but it's really not a big deal once you get to know him. Or maybe it is. That's his thing and if he's not bothering anyone, what's the big deal? And if it bothers you, maybe you need to ask why. I don't really know. I guess there's a lesson there about tolerance and acceptance if you're looking for that kind of thing. I'm really not interested in that shit right now and I'm just here to talk about how we got his stolen canoe back.
There's an unwritten code among those who drive pick-up trucks (like I do), it's called The Unwritten Code of the Truck Owner. If it were written, The Code would state that people will need your assistance from time to time in hauling stuff, and that when that happens, you do it, unless the person asking for help is an asshole or there's some other reason you just don't feel like it, of course. I guess what I'm saying is it's like many other codes or vows or pledges or promises in that it's something to live by and take seriously unless you don't want to for some reason.
The Code also dictates that you should help without expectation of a reward but that gas money and/or a meal is reasonable compensation. I'm a big believer in The Code so when I got word that Randy needed help, I offered my services.
I picked him up at his house, which is from where the canoe was stolen, and we headed to Clearwater, which was where it ended up. Along the way he told me how that all came to pass...

"Some kids who live nearby stole my neighbor's paddleboat and they were using that to access the pond behind my house and steal other boats."
"Would you describe them as a crew? A motley crew of scurvy knaves?"
"I don't know. I guess. I don't know if they're in a gang or anything like that. Anyway, they stole my canoe and put it up for sale on Craigslist,."
"Arrrrrrrr you serious?"
"Yep. Somebody in Clearwater bought it, not knowing it was stolen. I feel bad for them. Anyway, we're going to their house to get it."
"Seems like an adult must have been involved to broker a transaction through Craigslist. Did you notice a flamboyantly dressed gentleman, missing one hand, leading them, like, say, a captain?"
"No, but I saw them out there before the canoe was stolen and thought they were up to no good so I took pictures."
"Did you exchange cannon fire with them?"
"What? No!"
"When you get your boat back, you should put a crocodile out there to guard it."
"I'm sure there are some snakes out there but I'm not sure about any gators."
"This can't be the first time that scoundrel Hook has attacked your fleet."
"What are you... oh, okay, I see what you're doing. Ha ha. That's very funny."
"Hey! Tick-tock, tick-tock! Right? Ha ha ha!"

In case you're wondering, making subtle jokes about being Peter Pan to someone who lives as Peter Pan does not negate The Unwritten Code of the Truck Owner, as he and his wife took me to dinner at Miguel's last night.