Monday, September 09, 2013

Honey, I'm (almost) home!

Hi.
First off, I'm almost entirely 100% back and more than 100% glad to be so. I've missed this. I'm not planning on going away again any time soon. So sit back and relax. New and (hopefully) fun stuff to follow! Today, just to tie up loose ends and get back into the swing of things, I'll answer questions for those who have them. The beauty of this is, if you don't have any questions you don't have to read any more! Hurray! Go on and enjoy your day. Hopefully, it's lovely outside. If you want to stick around, here we go...

WHY WAS I GONE and WHERE WAS I? Okay, for those who care or feel they need to know, the reason I was away is because I'm buying a house and moving into it. Things deteriorated quickly between me and the management company at my apartment complex and a mutual decision was reached for me to get the eff out. I have military benefits that allow me access to VA loans and it's kind of stupid to spend money on rent and it was time to do something so I did. This required a quick turnaround and Lori, my realtor, jumped through some serious hoops on my behalf, for which I am extremely appreciative. She was able to help me find a place, work out a deal and get it closed in just over a month. However, I had to be out of the apartment on August 31 and I'm not scheduled to close until Wednesday, September 11th. This resulted in moving all my crap into the house (a generous and unusual concession by the seller negotiated by Lori, for which I am also grateful), while boarding my cats and sleeping in a cheap hotel for over a week. Between having a ton of stuff to do (I've also worked full-time throughout) and crappy wifi at the hotel, I just couldn't be around like usual. More to come but now at least you have an answer to the question of my absence. Most importantly, for the first time in a very long time, I feel like I will have a home soon. Part of that, believe it or not, is writing this blog. So yeah, pretty good.


WHY DIDN'T I JUST KEEP WRITING AND KEEP UP WITH EVERYTHING? Didn't you read what I just wrote? Or were you outside, enjoying the lovely day and decided to come back? That's fine but don't make a habit of it; going in and out like that plays havoc with the A/C, you know. Like I said,  the wifi at the hotel where I'm staying stinks. It's simply been a matter of not being able to get on line.

WHY DIDN'T I SAY SOMETHING? There are a lot of wonderful, kind people out there. I know some of them. You might be one of them. A lot of those wonderful, kind people are crazy. You might be one of them. Of the very, very, very few people I told (less than five of 'em), every single one of them offered me a place to crash or at least assistance in finding a place. However, I'm not good at accepting help or being cared for/about. Another example why it's a good thing I don't have children is that if they ever put me in a nursing home, I would be an awful patient and ultimately a huge waste of money for the kiddos. Before you say anything, I'm aware that's not good or anything to be proud of. Still, for better or worse (in this case, admittedly worse), it's how I'm wired. It's probably a combination of my upbringing and a million little incidents over the years that make me like this. At any rate, offers of assistance make me uncomfortable. Not because of any misconceptions about weakness really but because I feel like I'm imposing. Even when people insist otherwise, I know that stepping outside of their normal routine to accommodate me is not anybody's favorite thing to do. Also, let me be totally honest about it, I just didn't want any help. But wonderful, kind people are persistent and offers of assistance quickly turn into INSISTENCE. When that happens, it becomes extremely difficult to decline gracefully without it turning into a whole awkward, impolite thing.
WIFE: "You can stay in the baby's room. It's not like we're using it. Hope you don't mind pictures of adorable baby bunnies and ducklings painted on the wall. Ha ha!"
ME: "Baby's room? I didn't know you guys ever had kids."
HUSBAND: "(Softly, eyes cast downward) We didn't."

Eww. Between that and sleeping in the bed somebody's grandmother died in and their weird-smelling food and their in-jokes and unspoken expectations of me pitching in with some of the household chores and their fights. Oh God, the fights...
HUSBAND: "Here we go. You're going to bring this up again? Now??"
WIFE: "I'm going to bring it up until you decide to do something about it!"
ME: "Should I leave? I didn't want to be here in the first place. It would be very easy for me to leave."
HUSBAND: "No, stay. She's just dying to share with someone else about how I'm the worst person in the world who never does anything right!"
ME: "(Very quietly) Oh goody."
I was trying to limit that kind of activity to a manageable level (none) and the best way to do that was not to say anything.
Anyway, I think that brings us up to date. If you have any other questions, ask.

1 comment:

Johnny Fonts said...

This brings us to part two of "I don't want to impose and I don't want awkward situations, thanks though":

HOUSEWARMING GIFTS.

I'm just glad you're all right. I didn't know what the plan was when you were going off the grid and I personally didn't want to be nosy... But the gallows humor about "nice parks" in Tampa didn't make me too comfy.