Monday, January 04, 2016

Badly explained plots of all seven "Rocky" movies

I love the character of Rocky Balboa. The original movie "Rocky" is still one of my all-time favorite films. Nearly 40 years after it came out, I feel the themes of perseverance and finding someone who truly believes in you are still as inspirational today.
I saw "Creed", the seventh movie in the Rocky Balboa saga, a couple of weeks ago and really enjoyed it. As far as I'm concerned, it's the best film in the series since the original, in large part because it's the first one since the original that features realistic characters that had more to do than stand around in the background and watch Rocky be "Rocky".
With chapters 2 through 6, some of which were practically cartoons, I didn't love them but I found them entertaining at least (actuall, I really hated "Rocky IV", but that's worthy of an entire blog post of its own).
That doesn't mean that the plots can't be explained badly and briefly, like when the Twitter hashtag #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly pops up. Here, for your enjoyment, are my badly explained plots of all the "Rocky" movies, a series of movies that I love.

The love of a good woman inspires a man to let another man beat him to a pulp.

The near death of a good woman a man loves inspires him to get beaten to a pulp again by the same guy.

The love of a good man who had previously beaten him to a pulp twice inspires a man to beat up another guy.

The bitter, drunken best friend of a guy who frequently gets beaten to a pulp tries to have sex with a robot
Seriously, WTF?

Lots of guys, one married to a good woman who doesn't have much to say anymore, getting beaten to a pulp.

A pulpy old guy, whose good woman of a wife is now dead, gets beaten to a pulp once again for old times sake.

Old guy who has spent his life being beaten to a pulp finally smartens up and lets a youngster take the beatings.

You are now badly up-to-date on the plots of all the "Rocky" movies.

BONUS LULZ: Here's my #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly synopsis of "Reservoir Dogs", another movie I love:
Strangers debate employment in service industry over breakfast, spend rest of day dying.

And one for "Twister", the dumbest movie I've ever seen and that I do not love.
Scientists trying to save people from tornadoes battle evil scientists trying to save people from tornadoes.

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