Wednesday, January 06, 2016

Hey, let's go to a comedy club!

Guess what today is? It's my anniversary! Exactly one year ago today (as if you needed an illustration of what an anniversary is), I did stand-up comedy for the very first time at Jeff Rey's "Leg Up Stand Up" open mic at the Double Decker Lounge in Ybor City.

And what a year it has been! I've met some great people, had some incredible experiences and learned a lot. There have been some really good times and a few bad ones, but even the bad ones were still pretty good, at least in terms of gaining valuable experience.

I'm still nowhere near an expert at this stuff but I've picked up enough that I feel I can show you around and give you an idea of what life is like as a stand-up comedian. So...
Hey, let's go to a comedy club!

Wow, pretty crowded tonight! That's not a surprise when the headliner is a big name who has been in a successful movie.

"Well? Where ARE my pants?"
"WOO!! HA HA HA HA HA!!! He just said the thing that we heard him say in the movie!"

What a fun crowd! Looks like everyone is having a really good time, at least in the front few rows. But wait a minute...

Aw, what the hell is he even doing here? Geez, dude. Nobody wants to go up on stage and see somebody like this guy.

Ooh, look at that! A really cute girl in the second row, laughing and having a great time!

But naturally, she's with this douchebag. Because of course she is. That figures.

Check out the guy with his laptop. There's always some blogger who shows up because he thinks he can make the transition to stand-up. Forget it, buddy. That never works.

The local comics tend to gather in a group off to the side to talk shop and gossip. Let's join them and see what's going on!

"Hi guys!"
"Hey man."
"Sup man."
"Hey. Sup."

Look at the impossibly hot bartender! Do you think she has even the slightest interest in any of the comedians? No, she absolutely does not. No chance. None whatsoever.

Although, that doesn't apply to big-name headliners who have been in a successful movie.

Hey, the manager said there's some extra time to fill at the end of the show and wants to know if I'll do it. Hell yeah I'll do it! One thing I've learned is that you never, ever turn down stage time! Let's see how this goes!
"Hi folks! My name is Clark and..." 
"Shouldn't anything you put into your body be 'better than crack'?"

"I eat a lot of salad now and..."

"Basically, I lost interest in my own suicide and..."

"OK Cupid says my soul mate is probably a lesbian..."

"Gotta be kidding me."

"(Sigh) Oh well. Stage time is stage time. Thank you and good night!"

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