Sunday, June 08, 2008

I-yi-yi


Made up words beginning with the letter "i" are very popular these days: iPod, iMeem, IHOP. One of the most popular made-up i-words in the whole, wide world is poised to hit Tampa in 2009 but is already making a major impact: Ikea. The Dutch home products retailer broke ground on their new store here in Tampa this past Wednesday with the intent of opening next summer. This news is apparently a very big deal as noted in the St. Pete Times:
"The field of dirt featured no sparkling showrooms, no cafeteria with Swedish meatballs, no stylish furniture to buy.
Yet Claire Pustarfi, Kelly Hickman and Charlene Beverly were giddy over the possibilities as they scurried across a dusty lot to attend Wednesday's Ikea store groundbreaking ceremony."
Here's another i-word for you: iDon'tgetit. I'm not being critical. Seriously. I don't know enough anything about the Ikea phenomenon to criticize it so that wouldn't be fair. But when the rubber meets the road, it is just a store...right? And a store that isn't even going to open for more than a year shouldn't inspire rational people to scurry giddily around construction sites and lovingly create blogs about the subject, should it? Yet when I ask questions like these (strictly in an attempt to become informed, not to create mockery...honest) to those who do know, I sort of feel like I'm facing down Donald Sutherland at the end of "Invasion Of The Body Snatchers":
"So what's the big deal?"
"It's Ikea! It's amazing! The Ikea experience is coming to Tampa!"
"'The Ikea experience'?!? Now I'm getting scared."
"You shouldn't be. You're not afraid of Target, right?"
"I guess not. Target is a fine store."
"Okay, Ikea is like Target on steroids!"
"Well, why didn't you say so? You know there's no endorsement that carries more weight with me than association with a substance that has done so much for so many people!"
"Why do you hate Ikea, Clark?"
"I don't hate Ikea! I just don't understand. I mean, it's a furniture store, right?"
"No, it's not just 'a furniture store'. It's a complete marketplace environment that is going to feature 10,000 exclusively designed items, three model home interiors, 50 room settings, a 300 seat restaurant and a supervised play area for children."
"Wow. You sure know a lot about Ikea."
"And it's going to employ 400 people, Clark. And I'm going to be one of them! I'm going to work for Ikea. For free. That's right! They don't have to pay me. It will be reward enough to just be there, letting Ikea wash over me like golden rays of light."
"I'm...going to leave now."
"Have a meatball, Clark. You'll feel better. Ikeabots, seize him!"

7 comments:

Denise said...

My house is filled with IKEA furniture. We borrowed a minivan, drove to ATL and stuffed that thing so full of flat packed boxes that I was worried the rear tires were going to rub the fender-wells the whole way home. Oh, yeah - IKEA!

Why DO you hate IKEA ;)

Laura said...

omg I love IKEA!!! Let's have a tailgate party when the store opens. :)

Blogging McBloggington said...

Clarkster - Your hatred for IKEA saddens me. If they made IKEA actions figures would you hate them any less? What if there was an IKEA hockey or baseball team? Would you feel better then?

Why, it's Clark! said...

I think everyone who reads this blog knows that I could come right out and say "I HATE IKEA" (which I haven't, by the way) and if there was an excursion to the grand opening and I wasn't invited, my feelings would be hurt.

So there's that.

Denise said...

You missed the part where you're supposed to explain WHY you hate IKEA.

Why, it's Clark! said...

*Sigh* (shaking head sadly)

Ann-ti Ikea said...

I don't get it either Clark. Unless the furniture is futuriffic and can make my meals, clean itself and put me to bed, its JUST FURNITURE!