Friday, June 13, 2008

From Clark's Kitchen

Oh, hi there! Say, do you eat? Do you enjoy food? Would you be interested in a quick and easy crockpot recipe for chicken noodle soup? Of course you would! Well, here you go...

Clark's Chicken God-Noodle-Damn Soup

1 alarm clock
2 eggs
1/2 cup milk
3 slices bread, crumbled
2 pounds lean ground beef
1/2 cup finely chopped onion
2 tablespoons chopped parsley
1 clove garlic, smashed, minced
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1/2 cup chopped onion
2 green peppers, cut into strips
1/2 cup chopped mushrooms
  • Set alarm clock for one hour earlier than you usually get up.
  • Get up when it goes off and go into kitchen.
  • In a medium bowl, beat eggs lightly; add milk and bread and let stand for about 5 minutes.
  • Add ground beef, onion, parsley, garlic, salt, and pepper; mix gently until well blended.
  • Shape into about 24 meatballs, about 1 1/2 inches in diameter.
  • Place meatballs in a generously greased large shallow baking pan.
  • Bake meatballs at 450° for 25 minutes.
  • Get ready for work while meatballs are baking.
  • Put meatballs, spaghetti sauce, onions, peppers and mushrooms in large crockpot.
  • Set on crockpot on "low" and go to work for 8 hours.
  • Anticipate all day long the delicious aroma that will greet you when you get home and what a perfect beginning to the weekend that will be.
  • Arrive home and think "that's odd, I thought it would smell stronger than that".
  • Discover that crockpot was never plugged in.
  • Swear.
  • Open can of chicken noodle soup and nuke it in the microwave.
  • Continue swearing
  • Serve in your favorite unnecessarily large cereal bowl in an attempt to compensate for the bitter disappointment and anger churning in your stomach (note: it won't work).


citizen jane said...

If it's any consolation, I have a variation on that recipe: jane's Frickin' Delivery Pizza. It's probably just as delicious as the soup, but takes a little longer to prepare.

Why, it's Clark! said...

Yeah, I think I've tried that recipe too...