Thursday, January 21, 2010

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

I've mentioned this before, but one of the people I follow on Twitter is Andy Gray. He maintains the photo archive at Sports Illustrated and uses Twitter to post some amazing pictures. Today he posted this:

"I don't really know the context of this pic, but this is one scary jacked 10-year-old bodybuilder" -- Andy Gray

Every thought racing through your head right now, while possibly being factually correct, is wrong. In fact, this is like one of those puzzle pages in the Sunday paper where the idea is to find as many things wrong in the picture as possible. I'll start:

  • The size of that melon. If this were a normal 10-year-old's body, that kid would look like a Tootsie Pop. In spite of all the muscles, his head is still too big.
  • Acid washed jorts. That should count as two things.
  • The jorts are cut off, way too short. Make it three things. No, four.
  • The human anatomy poster on the wall would be a little creepy in any kid's room, but lots of kids are creepy at that age. The fact that this one is his own science experiment amps the creepiness up a few unnecessary notches.
  • The other poster, Schwarzenegger in Conan The Barbarian, is displayed without intentional irony.
  • You gotta believe the chess program on the computer is not there by accident. After all, we wouldn't want anybody getting the idea that this kid has any kind of unhealthy, age-inappropriate obsessions and that he's not like every other well-rounded 10-year-old with a wide variety of interests. Suuuuuure.


WednesdayAdams said...

You never mentioned that you thought your nephew looked like a Tootsie Pop before.

Jordi said...

That's a real kid. His name is Richard Sandrak, aka Little Hercules. He is 17 now.