Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Tuesday, July 06, 2010 Phone Phollies, Chapter 3: Something Goes Wrong

I don't have a lot of nice things. I don't own a big screen tv, I don't wear designer clothes, my computer situation is less than state-of-the-art and my car is a piece of crap. For the most part, I'm okay with that. When it comes to creature comforts and material possessions, good enough is good enough for me. But I'm not Mother Teresa either. I would like to have some nice things and a brand new fancy "smartphone" that retails for $350 (even though I paid zippo) qualifies as something I would like to take special care of.
On the way back to work, I resisted the urge to open the box and start playing around with it in the car. Instead, I would wait until I could set everything up by the book, exactly the way AT & T instructed me to.

I got back to work, set the box on a level counter, carefully sliced the tape on top and at both ends. I removed everything from the box and laid it out on the counter, double-checking that I hadn't missed anything before discarding the box (but keeping it handy, along with the enclosed return address labels in case...God needed to be sent back for any reason). I then read the handy "quick start" pamphlet completely, then the owner's manual from cover to cover and then the pamphlet once more. I even glanced at another manual that was written in Spanish to see if there was anything that hadn't been included in the English version. Once I was sure I was ready to begin, I re-read the pamphlet once more and then started following the instructions, line by line. I inserted the SIM card and the battery. I plugged the phone into the charger, noting the very explicit warning "DO NOT TURN ON THE DEVICE UNTIL THE BATTERY IS FULLY CHARGED", set it down on the counter and went back to work. About 15 minutes later, or about an hour and 45 minutes less than minimal charging time and three hours and 45 minutes less than optimal charging time for a brand new battery, a co-worker happened by, said "Hey, cool! New phone!" picked it up and turned it on.
Why?* Why?** Why?*** Why?**** Why?*****
* Why do people think it's okay for them to just touch your stuff?
** Why do I have to feel like a kindergartner and a jerk because I don't want people touching my stuff?
*** Why should I have to explain to a fully grown adult the reasons, valid or otherwise, that I don't want them touching my stuff?
**** Why should I feel I need to justify if a reason is valid or not? It's my stuff, damn it!!
****Why can't I have nice things?
I yelled at him to put it down.
"Geez, relax! I wasn't going to break it, you big baby. Those instructions are just guidelines, anyway. You don't have to follow all of them."
Maybe so, but you know what? FUCK YOU!!

Anyway, the phone is fine and I'm very happy with it, but guess what I'll be thinking of the very first time it malfunctions in any way?

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