Friday, February 17, 2012

We could be heroes

The great Rocky Bridges once asserted that there are three things an average man thinks he can do better than anyone else; run a hotel, build a fire and manage a baseball team. Well, I don't know that this makes me above average, but there's a fourth thing that I'm pretty sure I'm better at than anybody else; assembling a team of crime-fighting superheroes.
Okay, so (sadly) there is no such thing as an actual superhero like you'd find in comic books, like Batman or Captain America. And maybe that's good. Because with great power comes great responsibility, which translates to a proportionately greater risk of really bad things happening if that responsibility is abdicated and that power is abused.

What happens if this guy just gets kinda bored with Truth, Justice and The American Way?
Yeah, maybe a little bit of power and not-so-much responsibility would be best for all involved. With those more manageable parameters in mind, I put this line-up of local (Tampa Bay) crusaders together to form a group I like to call....

Steve Jerve aka The Weatherman - It's the middle of February and it's 75°, partly cloudy with a 12 mph breeze out of the south and no rain. Thank you, Weatherman! "You know, I've told you repeatedly that I don't make the weather", he says. Sure you don't, Steve. Sure you don't *WINK*.

The Ghosts of Lee Roy Selmon and Freddie Solomon aka The Spirits of Benevolence & Class - Selmon and Solomon were former NFL football players who made far greater impact with their charitable efforts and community work in the Tampa Bay area than with anything they ever did on the football field...which is saying something, considering they were both OUTSTANDING players. Tragically, we lost both of them recently. However, their spirits live on in the good works of other pro athletes who have played for Tampa Bay teams over the years like Derrick Brooks, Vincent Lecavalier and Warrick Dunn among others. 

Dusty Showers aka The Duster (actually, more aka Pink Bra Boy) - A tireless warrior in the ongoing battle against cancer, Dusty walks the walk...literally. he logged 240 miles in Komen 3-Day Walks in 2011. He also found time  to donate gift cards and auction items to a fundraiser benefiting a 32 year old woman facing a battle with stage 4 breast cancer, provided the funds for a survivor’s husband to have medically necessary major reconstructive dental surgery, provided a tour of Fenway Park in Boston with game day tickets and a player meet and greet for a survivor facing a cancer recurrence to her brain and, through a partnership with The Westchase Foundation, provided funds to a young survivor facing her second battle with breast cancer and the threat of homelessness due to the high costs associated with her new treatment regimen. All while wearing a pink bra and cowboy hat, which he does, all the time, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. "Nope. That's not true and you know it", he would say, to which I would reply "Hey, it's a thing and it's working." 

Kevin Beckner and Mark Sharpe aka The Wonder Twins (as in I WONDER why more elected officials can't work together like this) - Mild-mannered Hillsborough County Commissioners, Beckner is a Democrat and Sharpe is a Republican. In their day-to-day lives, they go about the business of administering the business of running the fourth highest-populated county in the state of Florida. But when a major issue comes along, they touch their magic county commissioner rings together and speak the words, "Wonder Twin powers activate. Form of...a compromise that temporarily supercedes the differences of opinion that result from our differing political ideologies for the sake of finding a solution that benefits the greatest number of constituents." Sure, it's a mouthful, but it results in things like fewer staged traffic accidents and payroll increases for hard-working people.


Denise said...

I've got to agree with you 100% on the inclusion of Beckner and Sharpe. I'm not on board with everything any politician does, but these two guys are proof that folks in their positions can make a difference.

Anonymous said...

Just the fact that they're willing to work together and cooperate tells me they understand why they're in the positions they are. This makes me a tad less cynical.