Friday, December 13, 2013

Heaven help me, I think I'm mellowing

Something is wrong with me. Wrong, in that I'm changing and as everyone knows, change is bad. What's happening is I'm finding I get emotional over things I never even cared about before. Now instead of watching and laughing at hour after hour of "fail" videos (the skateboard always just keeps going!) on YouTube, now I watch heartwarming sports videos, babies being adorable, animals being even more adorable and nice people doing nice things for each other (examples of each below). All of them wreck me.
It's not just these shamelessly manipulative videos. I get gooey over certain performances of certain music. Songs by obviously skilled performers who infuse their work with joy make me smile like a big, dumb doofus. That's when I don't catch myself starting to sob like an infant with a glandular condition.
Worse, I fear that I'm losing my natural-born-but-finely-honed ability to hate stuff. Things still annoy me and get on my nerves, but it's fewer things, things that are actually important and I'm finding it much easier to let things go. I'm not sure I could hold a grudge right now if I wanted to. My God, listen to me! Why wouldn't I ever want to hold a grudge?!? I always loved holding grudges and I was soooo good at it. Oh ho ho, you people don't even know! Well, some of you might... and you'd be surprised to learn that you're totally off the hook. I get over things now. Easily!
I have a Christmas tree and a wreath on my door.
A couple of weeks ago, I picked up a check for a table of soldiers at Pop n Sons (I left before they knew).
Yesterday, I listened to Christmas music. Mariah Carey. On purpose!
I'm turning into a big, damp blubbery sponge of feelings and emotions.
I'm seriously afraid to check and see if I have a vagina. Not that there's anything inherently wrong with a person having one, particularly if they're women or men who want one, but if I have one, I'm pretty sure I'll go right out and get pregnant. That's because I'm emotional and I have no self-control. That's a bad combination. I'm a human bomb, waiting to explode and lay waste to everything in my path in the form of hugs and affection.
One of the things that makes me emotional is something at work called the Community Heroes Program. Our organization gives away a grant of $50,000 at every Tampa Bay Lightning home game to someone who is out in our community, doing good work on behalf of other people. They make a big presentation and every single time, the stories hit me right in the gut. In my unique position of being able to work for the team by day and cover them as a member of the media by night, I had the opportunity to write about the program recently. Here's a link to that story on Raw
I don't think I want to mellow. I was really looking forward to being a bitter old man who might drop his trousers with no warning and heckle Little Leaguers. Now I don't think that's going to happen...and I'm okay with it.
My God, if my dad was here right now, he'd smack me right in the face.

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