Merry (day after) Christmas 2013

"You know, Mildred, I don't believe that boy actually knows how to play that guitar..." 

Hey, did you get everything opened, played with, cleaned up, cooked and eaten yesterday? Ready to sit back, relax and enjoy the cheery, warm afterglow of the season? Well, go ahead. You've earned it. Let me play a little song for you while you do, all right? Okay, good.

Christmas is over (if you want it) 

Originally wriiten and published December 26, 2008 

(This is in C, if you're singing along) 

So this was Christmas 

And what did I do'd? 

Sat in my apartment 

And ate Chinese food 

And so this was Christmas 

Without any cryin' 

Caught up on old re-runs 

Of Conan O'Brien 

(This is the part where my Japanese girlfriend, an off-the-wall avant-garde conceptual artist who would absolutely refuse to wear a school girl's uniform no matter what, would join in...if I had one) 

A semi-Merry Christmas 

Crack open a beer 

Let's try to get excited 

About a Happy New Year 

(me again) 

And so this was Christmas 

Guess I'll take down the tree 

Or just leave it up all year 

For the neighbors to see 

I'm almost that lazy 

And I could start a new trend 

What do you think, 

Japanese conceptual artist girlfriend? 

(She would sing in Courier for some reason. I don't know why) 

Everybody loves a freak show 

That's why we are here 

But that idea is stupid 

Without merit, I fear 

(Children's choir joins in...) 

Christmas is over 

Quit your whin-ing 

Get off your ass 

Do some shop-ping 

(repeat until you feel utterly compelled to get up and go to Best Buy)