Monday, December 02, 2013

Just the tip, please

There's a twist in the latest case of someone using a server's gratuity as a platform to make some sort of social statement, in that it may not have even happened.
The short story, if you don't feel like clicking the link for whatever reason, is that somebody stiffed a presumably gay server and then wrote "I'm sorry but I cannot tip because I do not agree with your lifestyle" on the receipt. Except the party in question has come forth with their copy of the receipt, as well as a credit card statement, that shows they actually didn't write any notes and in fact did leave a tip of $18 (just under 20%). So someone is lying, either to hide from their own previously-stated distasteful opinion or to unfairly cast someone in the role of bigot in order to draw attention to a cause. Both are shitty things to do and somebody in this case (probably the server, it looks like) is an asshole.
Whichever way this shakes out, let's hope it puts an end to the restaurant receipt as yet another way to get something off our chests. This has actually become something of a trend lately:

Nasty or not, how about everybody just knock it off? Because here's what most of us want from the diner/server dynamic:

  • Order food. 
  • Receive food as ordered. 
  • Eat food. 
  • Pay for food. 
  • Show some appreciation for the effort of the server in the form of a tip. 
  • Get out.

That's all there is to it. That's all any of us need. It's very simple and it's worked for centuries. Yet once again, you attention-starved grandstanders feel some kind of pathological need to get in the way and ruin a perfectly good thing for no good reason. As long as the eggs and bacon get to the table on time and on target, whether the person who brings them to you is male, female, gay, straight, old, young, black, white, fat, skinny, all or none of the above doesn't matter. It just doesn't! This is a person who exists in your life for a very short time to perform a small set of very specific tasks. If they accomplish those tasks in a satisfactory manner, they deserve to be recognized for it. If not, a complaint to the establishment's management might be in order. Regardless, this is the extent of your relationship with one another. Nothing else needs to brought into the equation. If you feel the need to express yourself, then paint or sculpt or start a blog or get a Twitter account or use all of those things to ask your mommy and daddy why they didn't love you.

Hint: You didn't deserve it.
Also, this is a picture of you as an adult.
If you can't follow those simple steps, stay out of our restaurants (diners and servers) and leave us the hell alone.

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