FAQ for the newly improved clarkbrooks.com

Hey look everybody, I re-did my web site, clarkbrooks.com! Go check it out. There's no free downloads or apps or anything like that but if a bunch of people visit, I'll feel a little better about paying my GoDaddy bill. So thanks!
I'd now like to open things up for questions of the frequently asked variety...

Who, what, where and when is it?
It's me, my own web site. It's located at clarkbrooks.com on the internet and is available right now.

So it's you plugging yourself and stuff you want people to pay money for, right?
Yeah, pretty much.

And that's different from this site how?
Well, the formatting is kind of... It's not, I guess.

Why can't I buy your book directly from the site?
Because an online store was not a line item in my budget this year. But the book is available at Amazon.

Wait a minute, I just looked at it: are you still talking about those Creative Loafing awards?
Yes, I'm proud of winning those.

Dude.
What?

Get over yourself already. 
What's wrong with that? I don't win a ton of awards all the time, you know.

Yeah, but it's not like you're a real celebrity like the host of a local late night radio show or anything.
Well, that's true. Good point.

After somebody from Anonymous hacks your site, how many dicks do you think will be Photoshopped on that picture of your big dumb face?
I don't know. A lot?

Oh yeah, it's gonna be a lot!
Please don't do that.

How much will you pay, per dick, to not have dicks Photoshopped all over your big dumb face?
Zero dollars. That is also not a line item in my budget.

So you want numerous quantities of all kinds of dicks all over your face?
You're talking about the picture of my face, right? It doesn't matter. No, I don't want any dicks on any of my faces.

That's not what the host of a certain local late night radio show has been saying.
A certain local late night radio host has been saying quite a few things that aren't true. Not to me directly, of course, but there's not much I can do about that.

What about just one dick, but it's an animated gif?
I'd actually kind of like to see that because that sounds funny but I wouldn't want to leave it up forever. Maybe just for a couple of days.

All right, how about this: 10 dicks, all different colors...
Do you have any non-dick questions?

No.
Okay then. Thanks for checking out clarkbrooks.com