Tuesday, June 26, 2007

I got email from Paul Newman today

I, like you, like a lot of people, I suspect, get lots of email from people whose name is their email address. Why, just today I got emails from Durante Urban, Ignatz Heike, Brice Hart, Emmerson Solomon, Allen Roderick, Stewart Courteney, Salome Aisha and Robby Gregory. I have no idea who any of those people are. I know they're trying to sell me goods and services of a dubious, at best, nature because it says so in the subject line. Even if their intent wasn't spelled out there, I'd have no trouble deleting these emails because I simply don't know that many people. Even better, there are very few of the people I like well enough to read what they have to say in an email. But when I saw an email from Paul Newman, I got very excited. I don't know Mr. Newman but I'm certainly familiar with him. I'd go so far as to say I am a fan of his. I loved The Sting, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, The Verdict, Cool Hand Luke, The Hustler, Slapshot, The Hudsucker Proxy and Nobody's Fool. I despised Mr. and Mrs. Bridge, but that's ok because I love his brand of spaghetti sauces, particularly the Sockarooni. And I've always thought Paul Newman was vastly underrated on the cool scale, as opposed to Jack Nicholson who is vastly overrated in that area (in my opinion). So I was pretty eager to see what Paul Newman had to say to me. Maybe he was going to share his thoughts on his recent decision to retire from acting or maybe he'd just wanted to share an excellent video of a chimpanzee bathing a cat he'd found on YouTube.
As it turned out, I was really disappointed to see it was just some plea to get involved with the Democratic Party. I didn't read it all but it was all don't-just-sit-there-and-accept-the-status-quo this, demand-accountability-from-government that, yak yak, blah blah. Maybe it wasn't some useless, rip-off offer for free Six Flags passes, discount cigarettes or a new way to meet thousands of local women with pictures and phone numbers waiting to hear from me RIGHT NOW, but it was still just a sales pitch. What use have I for active participation in an accountable government in my never-ending quest to date thousands of thrifty, local, cigarette smoking female roller coaster enthusiasts? None! So I deleted it. It would have been nice if he'd put an e-coupon in there for some Sockarooni spaghetti sauce.

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