Thursday, June 14, 2007

Billy is very angry with me right now

Billy, my office mate (previously discussed here and here and here and here) is pretty upset with something I did today. Here's what happened: Billy likes Staci (who also works with us) but Staci already has a boyfriend (who also works with us). The three of us had a discussion about The Intern and his girlfriend. Before we go further, I should point out that I don't care much for The Intern and so I speak and refer to it like an inanimate object (ie: "It puts the paperwork in the folder in the correct order. It does this with a minimum of talking. When it's done, it may go fetch itself some lunch.") Anyway, apparently The Intern's girlfriend is quite attractive. Disproportionately so, in two out of three people's opinion (the third person...me...has never seen her but I have no reason to challenge their assessment). This, according to Billy, is a condition that is prevalent in our office: unattractive males undeservedly involved with attractive females. Seeing an opportunity to make Billy angry, the kind of opportunity that only comes along a couple of times a day, I seized it. "Like who, Billy? Could you please cite some examples?" Billy named a couple that we all knew. I said, "who else?" and he named another couple that we knew. "Uh-huh, and who else?" and he mentioned a couple of names that neither Staci and I had heard of (I think he made them up). "This is fun. More! More!" Billy looked at his computer screen and said, "I have to go" and bolted out of the office.
Later, after Staci left he came back and said it was the worst thing I had ever done to him and he punched me, hard, in the arm twice (remember, I have sunburn).
Yes, this is how I get my kicks. Thanks for asking.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

this guy is an ass. He will stabb you in the back if you turn around..

Why, it's Clark! said...

Thanks for sharing, Anonymous aka Billy.

PS: Staci says hi.

Anonymous said...

i love it!! it makes me laugh.
-the next door neighbor

Anonymous said...

Hey Billy...I better not be one of the "unattractive males undeservedly involved with attractive females"....