Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Phone Phun

To most people, wrong numbers are an annoyance. To me, they're an opportunity. Here's a call that I took at work the other day:

AUTOMATED VOICE: This is Blah Blah Mortgage Bankers, Inc. if you'd like exciting new information about refinancing your mortgage, press one!

(Pressing one): Beep.

SANDRA: Hello, this is Sandra. Would you like information on refinancing your mortgage today?

ME (in a "foreign" accent that sort of sounds like a bastardized cross between Indian and Transylvanian): Oh yes, very much please.

SANDRA: Ok, great! And what is your name, sir?

ME: My name is Dioner Navarro

SANDRA: Ok then. Is this a single family home, Mr. Navarro?

ME: Doctor Navarro.

SANDRA: Oh, I'm sorry Dr. Navarro. Is this a single family home, sir?

ME: Well yes it is. However, there are currently several families living in it.

SANDRA: That's fine. How many bedrooms?

ME: Right now, all the rooms are bedrooms.

SANDRA: I see. How many rooms would you say are supposed to be designated as bedrooms?

ME: Hmmm. Probably three.

SANDRA: Great. And how many baths?

ME: For me, personally? I take shower.

SANDRA: No no, how many bathrooms. In the home.

ME: Ah! Ok. Two rooms for bathing. Plus one extra with only toilet and sink. Or two toilets if you need.

SANDRA: Great. And what did you pay for the home?

ME: $125,000

SANDRA: And how much is still owed?

ME: $124,000

SANDRA: You still owe $124,000 on a $125,000 purchase?

ME: I have only had for three weeks.

SANDRA: Oh ok, I see. Well, unfortunately you have to have owned the home for at least a year to be eligible for this offer.

ME: But I think I signed bad deal and want to make do-over, please?

SANDRA: We can talk again after you've owned the home for a year.

ME: All right then. I will call you?

SANDRA: No no, we will call you, Dr. Navarro.

ME: Okay. The number will be the same unless it changes.

SANDRA: Great. We'll talk to you again soon.

ME: I can hardly wait!

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