Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Where's a harpoon when you need one?

Today I found myself in a position where I had to interact on a professional level with someone wearing a pair of pants with little whales on them. This angered me a great deal, to the extent that I seriously considered not providing service...

HIM: Listen, I'd like to see a version of this where you break the info in the second and third paragraphs out as individual bullet points...
ME: I'm sorry...your pants. Are those...those are little whales, aren't they? Your pants are covered in little whales. What the...I can't work with you. Jesus, whales? Whales?? Are you kidding me?

I have nothing against whales. Or pants. Or even this guy, for that matter. There was something about the combination of those three things that set me on edge.
I think somebody could throw on a pair of whale pants fully aware of what a ridiculous garment it is and walk in saying, "Check it out, bitches! Pants with whales on them! What!!" and I'd be fine with that.
I'd also have no problem with the kind of people who are so un-self conscious that they're oblivious to how unintentionally ridiculous they can be. I love those people! I mean the kind of person who would say, "Huh? Whales on my pants? Oh yes, I guess there are. So what?".
I don't really know how to explain it, but I think this guy was trying to be both of those things while simultaneously trying to appear to be neither. For starters, the guy is one of those golfers. And by that, I don't mean he's someone who plays golf. There's nothing wrong with the game of golf or most people who play it. I'm talking about those guys who always look like they're ready for a game of golf to break out anywhere, any time. And the forced feigned nonchalance and complete lack of irony with which he wore the pants ("I'm going to wear these whale pants to a meeting today and I'm not going to say anything about it, and I don't expect anyone else to mention it either") was just such an exercise in being completely full of shit that it pissed me off, and sometimes I just can't handle people like that.


Kelley O said...

I think this person might be my soul mate! i would totally do that.

ChrisC and JonJ said...

The guy sounds crazy as Hell,but whatever...That's his problem.
Myself,I'm just glad I don't have to wake up in the morning next to him.