Monday, May 25, 2009

Army Stories: The Russian hockey incident

I hope you're enjoying the Memorial Day weekend and celebrating the holiday in a fitting manner. As I've mentioned previously, I was in the military, which means I tend to get a little soft and mushy on holidays like this. I never came close to seeing any kind of combat, and compared to those who did and continue to do so, I consider myself a veteran like Count Chocula is a vampire. Of course, that's a perspective provided by time past. I didn't feel that way when I was active duty. It was the '80s and everybody thought we were just two pushed buttons from blowing up the entire planet. We really didn't know that much about the perceived enemy or their leader but the prevalent feeling was that ours was kinda itching to push his button. As a result, we certainly felt that we were in a state of clear and present danger.
I was stationed in Frankfurt, Germany, and some friends and I had discovered the hockey arena where the local team played their home games. They provided free tickets to military personnel and going to those games became a frequent leisure activity. One night, we found out the team had scheduled an exhibition game against the Soviet Union national team. This was only five years after the Miracle On Ice and the Soviets were still probably the most formidable team in any sport in the world. As soldiers, we were wary of the Soviet Union since they were our adversaries in an undeclared war but as hockey fans, we were very excited for the opportunity to see them in action. They came out in those red uniforms with CCCP across the chest and completely dominated the boys from Frankfurt, just like we thought they would. A good time was had by all and we went back to our barracks. There we were met by our platoon sergeant, first sergeant, company commander and two unsmiling men in suits. Uh-oh.
We were called into the office and questioned about the evening's activities. Apparently the men in suits had been watching us the whole time. I got nervous and tried to remember if I had done anything that could have been considered inappropriate or even unpatriotic. I'm sure I rooted for the home team but it's entirely possible that I applauded the Soviets once or twice because they were Just. That. Good. What would happen to me? Dishonorable discharge? Court martial?? Leavenworth?!? Oh please, we were just watching a hockey game, for Pete's sake. Ask us some questions and let us go to bed.
Any hope of that happening disappeared after the first question posed by the suits: "why were you at that game?" and one of my companions replied "because the Russians are awesome!" Double uh-oh.
We then, as a group and as individuals had to...repeatedly...explain that their puck movement, back checking and scoring prowess was what we considered awesome, not any kind of socio-political philosophies. We didn't get to bed until after three in the morning and I'm pretty sure the men in suits monitored our after-hours activities for a while after that, although we never went to another hockey game.

So anyway, Happy Memorial Day! Take a moment to give thanks to those who sacrificed so we could go to hockey games and not be interrogated.

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