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Coming to see me Sunday night at Side Splitters and voting for me as I compete in the 2015 Tampa Bay Comedy Tournament Elite Eight (Part 1).
Because if you do, I will love you at least as much as I love this Spider-Man pinata. I'll demonstrate that by giving you a hug and not hitting you with a stick until candy comes out of you.
THAT is my solemn promise!
* Please don't ask what the question is. It's rhetorical, which means "shut up".