Let's talk about the Balloon Boy phenomenon...

I'm two weeks into life without television and I didn't think that much was different, although I was a little concerned about a diminished capacity to follow current events as they happen...until this past Thursday. Now, I can't say that I didn't hear about the whole "Balloon Boy" debacle because it was literally everywhere but without television, I didn't feel sucked in as it unfolded and didn't feel obligated to track the whole thing from start to finish. While much of the nation tuned in hoping not (yeah, right) to witness a disaster involving a young child, I went about doing whatever it was I was doing that day (if you were glued to the tube, feel free to take comfort in the fact that I don't remember what I was doing probably means that I didn't spend my time on anything more worthwhile than you did, because I'm sure that's accurate). Point being, I think that at the end of the day I know about as much about the whole situation as anybody without having surrendered hours following every detail. This makes me feel not so bad about not having tv and I'm not nearly as worried about being able to keep up with current events as I was two weeks ago. But just to be sure, I'd better check and maybe somebody who did watch it can straighten me out where I'm off:

• Initial reports are that a six-year-old kid has gotten into some kind of experimental balloon aircraft and launched himself into the sky.
• Emergency officials follow it, fearing a crash is imminent.
• The thing comes down (did it crash?) but no kid inside!
• The kid's name is Falcon.
• Oh shit! So where is Falcon?
• Ah, Falcon is safe at home. He was found hiding in an attic. Whew!
• Falcon mentions "We did this for a show" to the media. People start to suspect some kind of strange and elaborate hoax...
• It's learned the parents Richard and Mayumi Heene have appeared on the reality tv show "Wife Swap". Hmmm...
• Associates of Richard Heene start coming forward, talking about his plans for a reality show about his family. Uh-oh.
• Falcon tosses his cookies twice during interviews about whether or not the whole thing was a hoax. Gross.


• Richard Heene refers to himself as a scientist.
• Larimer County Sheriff Jim Alderden says, "He may be nutty, but he's not a professor."
• Charges are expected to be brought against the Heenes, including conspiracy, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, attempting to influence a public authority and false reporting to authorities.
• During the trial it will be revealed that Richard Heene is, in fact Shemp Howard, a time travelling scientist of some renown.

Did I miss anything?