What$ in a name?

Last week it was announced that the venue formerly known as the Ford Amphitheater would now be known as the 1-800-ASK-GARY Amphitheater.
For those who don't know, 1-800 ASK GARY is a referral service for accident victims seeking medical and/or legal assistance, sort of an ambulance chaser chaser. The service is known for their television commercials which are usually broadcast during the day time, directed at those who have an abiding interest in the televised judicial system and might be interested in either obtaining a GED or downloading some ringtones. The commercials often feature spokespeople of certain socio-ethnic subgroups who express themselves with a patois most often identified as "urban", resulting . That is to say they're ghetto.
At any rate, corporate entities slapping their names on sports and entertainment venues is nothing new. Some are better than others and since we're (disclaimer: I work there, sometimes, on a part-time basis) stuck with this one for the next three years, I thought now was as good a time as any to rank the six major named venues in the Tampa Bay area according to how good or bad their corporate names are. For what it's worth, the 1-800-ASK-GARY Amphitheater is 6th only because there aren't 15 or 20 entries.

#1: Straz Center for the Performing Arts
FORMER NAME: Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center
NICKNAME: T-Pac (although maybe people will start saying "The Straz" after a while, which is what I imagine David Straz would like people to call him if he walked into a malt shop and made the jukebox play by bopping it with his fist.)
LOCATION: Tampa
APPROPRIATE?: Things like performing arts centers and other cultural venues are named after people all the time. David Straz is a person with lots of money who likes to have his name on things. Can't really fault him for that.


#2: TROPICANA FIELD
FORMER NAME: FLORIDA SUNCOAST DOME (among others)
NICKNAME: The Trop
LOCATION: St. Petersburg
APPROPRIATE?: "Tropicana" is a word that sounds very Florida-esque. It makes you think of orange juice, sunshine and heat, none of which are available inside Tropicana Field. Although Tropicana does distribute Pepsi products and those are available inside. Kudos to whomever is responsible for choosing the word "Field" instead of "Stadium". Football is played in stadiums. Baseball is played in parks and on fields.

#3: RAYMOND JAMES STADIUM
FORMER NAME: None
NICKNAME: Ray Jay
LOCATION: Tampa
APPROPRIATE?: Who is Raymond James? Local boy who grew up and was inducted into the pro football hall of fame? War hero? Civil rights activist? The inventor of the bicycle seat? Nope, there is no Raymond James. It's the name of a financial investment company. Well, at least it's not a sleazy industry or anything. Ha ha! Right?



#4: ST. PETE TIMES FORUM
FORMER NAME: ICE PALACE
NICKNAME: THE FORUM
LOCATION: Tampa
APPROPRIATE?: The St. Pete Times is a fine newspaper. But where is the venue located? And should newspapers that are expected to report objectively on events that may take place at a venue have their name associated officially with that venue? I'm not sure. But where is the venue located again?
Plus...The Ice Palace? Come on!! That was an AWESOME name! One of the greatest names ever! Who wouldn't want to visit a palace of ice? A palace! Of ice! An Ice Palace! Why did they have to screw with that? Corporate fuckers! People still call it The Ice Palace sometimes. You know what? So do I.

#5 THE AFS SUN DOME
FORMER NAME: THE SUN DOME
NICKNAME: Uh, Sun Dome?
LOCATION: Tampa
APPROPRIATE?: This name only existed on paper for a couple of weeks and never became official. A lunkhead operating on behalf of an even more lunkheaded athletic department went out and tried to sell the naming rights to a shady student loan company run by a man with an extensive criminal record. Thankfully, the Sun Dome's board of directors, one of a very small handful of organizations associated with USF Athletics that doesn't pass around a single shared brain on a stick, asked some tough questions and the deal died on the table.