I'm counting my blessings...so I'll know if I'm missing one

The laziest missionaries in the world live in my neighborhood. They don't even knock on my door, they just leave flyers and stuff on my doorstep. Is there a doctrine that preaches "Go forth and litter"? I guess they assume I'm not home during the day time, because most people aren't. Still, why would somebody go to all the trouble of getting dressed in nice black slacks, a short-sleeved white shirt, black tie and bike helmet if they can't even be bothered to knock on doors? Haven't they ever heard of the expression "missionary zeal"? How much zeal does it take to knock on a door, guys?
Anyway, this is their latest delivery. It's some kind of three-day church gathering that features what looks like Alec Baldwin from the future. Apparently, he is going to be blessing people and if I don't go, some joker might steal mine. I'm not sure what to make of this. I'm not the world's foremost biblical scholar, but I don't think it's even possible to steal a blessing. I kind of thought that blessings are like monogrammed tea cozies in that they're designed to be given to someone very specific. When somebody sneezes in a crowded room and I bless them, I'm directing that blessing to them, not every jamoke within earshot. They're on their own. I mean, I don't wish them any ill will; if they sneeze, I'll bless them too. Unless everybody starts sneezing and then it's like, "oh ha-ha, obviously some people crave attention" or "oh shit, obviously I've wandered into an infirmary", in either case I would leave immediately. Of course, I suppose you could have a mass blessing, in which case it's like chicken fried steak at a Golden Corral buffet; no need to hoard, there's plenty for everyone. And if they run out, they'll make more. Take it easy, big fella.
But if it is possible for someone to steal my blessing, do I want to attend an event that's liable to be infiltrated by the kind of people who would do such a thing? Who's to say that if I'm present to receive the blessing that some thug doesn't jump me in the parking lot to take it from me anyway? I mean, these are people who steal blessings. Can we put anything past them? And what's with making that the primary focus? If some nightclub in Ybor distributed a card like this (actually, the nightclubs in Ybor do distribute cards that are pretty similar to this), they probably wouldn't lead with something like "DON'T GET SHOT!" or "DON'T HOOK UP WITH SOMEONE WHO WILL GIVE YOU CHLAMYDIA!". Sure, those things are likely to happen, but that's not what you want to lead with.
So I don't know if I'm going to this or not. I'm sorta leaning towards not. If you go, will you grab my blessing for me?