Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Muffinquest: let me allay your fears

"See if you can put a cap
 in the shortstop's ass, Ethel"
From TBO.com:
"Stray bullets from property less than a mile away zinged into a neighborhood T-ball game Saturday at a county park in Lithia, prompting Hillsborough County sheriff's deputies to investigate...Deputies tracked the origin of the bullet to private land at 12309 Lyons Ave., where the Brandon-based Bell Shoals Baptist Church was hosting a fund-raiser that featured the firing of guns. Money from the fund-raiser was to go toward missionaries..."
Okay, Okay. I see what's happening here. Many of you are reluctant to make a contribution to Muffinquest, my personal campaign to raise $1,500 in the fight against cancer and have a muffin named after me and added to the menu at Tre Amici @ The Bunker because you're afraid that it will eventually result in weapons being deployed, resulting in innocent people being put in harm's way. That is a perfectly reasonable and understandable concern.
This started out as a band candy sale.
Let me just take a moment to calm your nerves.
First of all, Muffinquest is not a faith-based initiative and is not affiliated with any organized religion whatsoever. People of all beliefs (or lack thereof) are welcome to participate, provided they're willing to treat one another in a civil manner...but don't go nuts with it. In fact, holding hands and singing is not only not required, it's actually frowned upon. By the same token, it would be appreciated if one were to keep their position on missionaries to themselves.
See what I did there?
Secondly, I don't even know where guns would fit into the equation, aside from turning the whole thing into an armed robbery spree. And if I were to take that step, I'd go for a lot more than $1500 and I wouldn't give a dime of it to the American Cancer Society, or anybody else for that matter. Just being honest.
Lastly, well, how stupid. Shooting at T-ball players? Come on. Have you ever actually been to a T-ball game? 30 kids, all hopped up on sports drinks and their first whiffs of athletic competition with the attention spans of six-week-old Golden Retriever puppies. They're constantly in motion, no more than two or three of them moving in the same direction at any one time. Plus they're very small. In other words, extremely difficult targets. Who has time for that?
Three baserunners rounding first while some of the defense
 runs off the field for some unknown reason:
pretty standard play in T-ball.
So there you go, folks. Nothing to worry about here.

OR MAIL CHECKS AND/OR MONEY ORDERS (payable to The American Cancer Society) TO ME AT:
3655 Coopers Pond Drive, #202,
Tampa, FL, 33614

And if you'd like to RSVP for the Muffinquest party at Tre Amici, you can do so here.

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